Are you a working mother?

Dominique - posted on 12/15/2009 ( 21 moms have responded )

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I am a stay at home mom. I have one son and my husband works third shift. My son is 15 months and I would like to go back to work! How do you juggle the whole work/mom thing? Are there actually low cost child care's out there? Are they safe for him? Will I be able to handle the emotional stress of leaving my son after so much time with him? Please help I am at a loss!

21 Comments

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Gayle - posted on 12/19/2009

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I am a working mother of 4-yr old triplets and though I was able to spend a few months at home, I needed to go back to work financially. It is hard to leave them even now! I know their school is perfectly safe but the realization that their teachers get to spend more awake time with them than me is heart wrenching. If you aren't going back to work for financial reasons or to maintain the effectiveness of your education, reconsider until he is 3 years old. It is my biggest regret - I just didn't have a choice.

Lawanda - posted on 12/19/2009

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I know for me i was very blessed and lucky my daughter is 5 now when i had her i mind you she was premature i want back to work about 3 months after having her but i worked part-time i missed her but i had my family involved they were in volved from day one my next door neighboor what her for about a few months until i moved and my family had my back the rest of the way try to see if your family can get involved instead of putting your child in child care child care can be expensive that will help ease the separtion when your at work thats what helped me knowing if i couldn't be there all the time i knew my daughter was safe and in good hands.

Edna - posted on 12/18/2009

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my daughter is now 6 and i went back to work when she was 6 months old. being as she was 2 months early it was a bit scary, but was the best decision. she's grown up to be easily integrated with others and it helped her catch up and then over take others of her own age! and as for me it gives me some adult company. i feel we get the best of both worlds. i work full time hours five days a week and my daughter get's upset if she can't go to her out of school club. you'll find that that they get used to it very easily if you find the right child care provider.
juggling work and kids is all part of the fun!

Veronica - posted on 12/16/2009

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Hi Dominique, I went back to work 8 weeks after my son was born, it is very hard and I wish I could have stayed at home with him, I did have a hard time and would cry going into work, pull myself together get through the 8 1/2 hour work day and rush to get him. It does pass after time and you fall into a routine. I was a single mom, I did not have a choice. But i also know that having him exposed to other children is healthy for kids. If you want to work, may be just find a part time job. That way you still have the majority of time with your son, but still have the experience of being a part of life. There is nothing wrong with that. Day care is a hard one, check them out ask questions and use your instincts as a mom and you can find a good one. Not sure if this helps and good luck with your decisions.

Amy - posted on 12/16/2009

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I have a 19 month child at home and I work full time. We couldn't find any lower cost child care places around us so my husband is a stay at home dad (I made more money so I kept my job).

I honestly think that any time you think about child care you need to go to the places your interested in and interview the people who might work with your child and also take a tour of the place to see how they treat the other kids. Also, don't "try" to make an apt, just show up to make sure there not putting on a show for you.

Rachel Jane - posted on 12/16/2009

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Hi
I have been a working mum since both of my kids have been about 2 months old.
I have had my kids in day care and Porse home care.
Day care is cheaper but would never do it again. Porse home care is more personal and i want some one to look after my girls as if i would if i could have been at home.
If you can maybe go back part time . As i feel i didnt get to grow with my kids and now wish i had stayed at home part time.

Reema - posted on 12/15/2009

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hi Dominique, my daughter is 15 months now I started to work 2 months ago, my work is realy good I am speech pathologist so I work in a centre for disabled children that close at 2 which is great I pick her at 3 , it was diffcult at first to leave her but with time is great, she can't stay with me all the time she needs children around her, but daycare is not easy not only you pay money,but also babies are always sick, so I am gona bring her a nanny , but belive me is good not only financially , you will feel good, do somthing for your self, ofcourse you will miss him but it worth it.

Florence - posted on 12/15/2009

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It's always hard to leave your child in someone else's care. A mother will know which care is best for her child. I chose an environment where they could learn life and educational skills. There is a reason they call the ages between 2.5 - 5 the absorbent mind. Children learn so easily and quickly without struggling to learn during this time.
I wish you all the best in your search. Do check out a Montessori school/program in your area. Do your homework and ask lots of questions. Good luck in your search for the right place for your child. In these times, it often takes 2 working parents just to meet a family's needs.
Happy Holidays!

Cynthia - posted on 12/15/2009

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You will always feel the need to be the provider. It's ok to go back to work and become somewhat normal again. Yes I'm not going to lie it is hard to juggle work, baby and husband and chores. I had family to watch mine and when that was over I used child care. You need to shop around and check it out and see if it is worth going back to work or just part-time. Good Luck

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If in doubt maybe try finding something part-time. I co-own a shop so didnt have any choice but to keep working. However most of my work I can do from home and then I have 2 days a week in the shop. It actually works really well for us as she now has one day a week with each set of grandparents while Im at work and she has the occassional day of quality time with daddy when I need to work a Saturday. The big bonus is I get some adult time while I work but I still spend most of my days with my bubba so I dont feel like Im missing out on anything...just what has worked for us :)

Florence - posted on 12/15/2009

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In response to your query. Depending on where you live, my suggestion is to check and seek an excellent Montessori school. We have one in Brevard just behind the college so parents attending school may also have the luxury of having our school there. You may want to look and visit the prospective center/school where you live. Ask about the training and educational experience of the teachers at the center.
Montessori is a wonderful multi-sensory educational experience for a child if it is well run. Cheap is not always the best when it comes to our children. We get what we pay for in terms of education and care. Best wishes to you in your search.

Florence - posted on 12/15/2009

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Quoting Dominique:

Are you a working mother?

I am a stay at home mom. I have one son and my husband works third shift. My son is 15 months and I would like to go back to work! How do you juggle the whole work/mom thing? Are there actually low cost child care's out there? Are they safe for him? Will I be able to handle the emotional stress of leaving my son after so much time with him? Please help I am at a loss!


 

Alavisi - posted on 12/15/2009

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I quit my teaching job, remodeled my basement and now run a home day care business. This was the ideal situation for my family, because I couldn't bear being away from my children. My husband and I did try though. he worked nights and watched the kids during the day while trying to get at least 5 hours of sleep. It was a miserable ordeal. Anyway, as a home day care provider, I offer working parents affordable plans- because I know how it is. My rates are $125 per week full time and I am flexible if you only need care a few days-$25 per day. However, most day care centers are not like that. Thy want you to sign up full time of at least 3 days and the prices are anywhere from $250 a week and up. Sounds like you need to transition your son into a group home day care or another stay at home mom with just a few kids. Try a couple days a week, maybe just working part-time then if you are comfortable a few more days... Are they safe- that just depends. Most home day care homes are licensed and by that it usually means the state has already been in there and cleared the house for safety regulations. The provider has cleared a background check and references were reviewed. More than likely the provider has had CPR training, and First Aid. But then again, you can always visit a few homes and centers in your area. Good luck!

Karina - posted on 12/15/2009

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Hi,
Going back to work as a mum is a really tough decision, but sometime it can be the best thing for both of you. I am a mother of two daughters, 2 & 4 & work part time (25 hours a week). I needed to return for work, both for my own reasons & $$$.

Both my girls go to home-based care as I felt that was best for them. This was also a cheaper option at the time than a centre. I enjoyed the more personal time the kids get in home based care.. & that my girls would be together.

If you feel going back to work is right for you I would suggest you investigate all options.. centres, home-based, care swaps with a friend. You will know when you find what is right for your child & you - trust your gut! Children get some wonderful experiences in care & I think my time is better spent with them now when I am home.
GOOD LUCK!!

Maegan - posted on 12/15/2009

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I am a stay at home mom who does daycare in her home too. So I work also. I would say the first thing you need to do is go to look at day-cares. Check out prices, check out what would feel better for you in-home day-cares or a center or someone that comes to your home. I would ask them lots of questions. You can look lists up on the internet that might help you come up with some questions that you might not think about. Go with your gut. If something feels wrong, that is not the place for you. Ask them for people who have used them before. Call those people and check them out. You need to be an advocate for your son.
I am a big believer in a moms choice. I just baked 60 cupcakes for my daughters first birthday party. I was here at home and I had time. Does that make me a better mom then a mom who is at work and has to order them made? NO!!! You do what you can do, let go of what can be let go and do what feels right to you. If you HAVE to work then you need to be okay with that decision or you will have a very hard time with the transition. Hope all goes well!

Korrine - posted on 12/15/2009

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Hi Dominique,

I am a stay at home mum with two little boys, one 4 and one nearly 3. When my boys 6 mths and one and a half I started my own business. I wanted to work but didn't want to leave my boys (my eldest was in the process of being diagnosed with Autism). It has been challenging but a fantastic choice in our position. I have been able to set my own hours, raise my boys and a business at the same time. Next year both boys will be in preschool 2-3 days each and the aim is to build the business further so that by the time they are at school. There are lots of different employment options out there, work for yourself, part time, full time, etc. Check out local child care also look at family day care too. If you do decide to head back to work it will be hard at first leaving your son but it will become easier, just think of the socialization he will have with other children and the in the right setting they will nuture his development and care well for him.

Whatever you choose it will be ok and I wish you the best of luck in deciding what to do.
Take care, Korrine -x-

Christina - posted on 12/15/2009

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I am a working mom with two kids! I work in a daycare close to my home and my son's school! There are good childcare centers out there but I am not so sure on the low cost ones. Normally you pay for what you get! The day care I work at is not that cheap but it is an awesome place for kids!! If you do your research on the center and find out if the teachers are qualified and good with kids you should be good!! If it sounds to good to be true then it prolly is!

Michelle - posted on 12/15/2009

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I did it with my mom's help. It is hard to leave your little one. It was good for me to be able to go back to work and feel productive again. My mom was able to watch my first one and then my husband and I juggled the second between our schedules and when that no longer worked I was able to find a retired nurse to watch my last little one until she started preschool. It is a matter of talking to others in your area to find someone good to watch your little guy.I prefered finding a person that was only watching mine and one other child. Daycares tended to be expensive and the kids stay sick. Good luck!

Courtney - posted on 12/15/2009

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I went back to work when my son was 11 months old. It was a hard adjustment at first, but i found a really great day home and knew that i didnt have to worry about the care he was getting. Getting home late was hard as I didnt get to see him much in the evenings, but i was able to change my work hours and now i pick him up an hour earlier and it makes a huge difference! Cost wise i dont, depends where you live probably, my husband and i pay quite a bit for a private day home, but i felt it was worth it to know that he was getting the care he needed and i dont have to worry about it when im at work.

Beverley - posted on 12/15/2009

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Hi Dominique, my little girl is now 7 and ever since she was born i have worked full time, much too my regret! I put her in a private nursery from 6 months old, this however, was not cheap, there are cheaper ones out there, like Leapfrog and they open long hours, it was a wrench to leave her there, but she got used to it and to be honest sending her to nursery was the best thing for her, she is so sociable and starting school was not a problem as she was used to routine, i just wish i had been able to work part time. It is hard work, but no one ever said motherhood was gonna be easy! i do feel i missed out on so much of her life and i made a decison this year to work part time as i could not cope with never being at her school concerts and picking her up at the school gate, that is even harder than the nursery stage because they make you feel so guilty. Dont feel bad about leaving your son, just try to get a good balance of work and home life and work part time if you can. I wish you luck. Bev x

Natasha - posted on 12/15/2009

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Hi Dominique,



I have a 10 month old baby girl, and used to work in the Casino industry. Needless to say I resigned just after she was born. I did not want to work shifts anymore as her daddy also works at the Casino. I was at home with her for 6 months before I started a daytime job only. It was terrible having to leave her at home with the nanny, but I had no choice. Life is so expensive these days, you don't have a choice but to work. So don't feel bad, you'll get through it. I do feel very bad at times too, because I get home from work at 5pm then I have to get the nights bottles ready, play a little while with her, bath, then off to bed with her. So I feel like I do miss out alot, which I did not want to, but like I said before, I had no choice.



You'll be fine with juggling between work and your baby, just make sure it's a daytime job, Mon-Fri, which allows you to spend ample time with him over weekends to make up for the weekdays.



Enjoy your little one!

Natasha

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