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Michelle Ann - posted on 10/12/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )




The father of my three and five year old son is in jail for the third time in two years and will likely be in and out for many years to come. It is harder on my boys each time and their relationship is struggling, the boys are angry but miss him too. He is not a good influence and went in for sleeping with a minor and will not be allowed around my children unsupervised. We were married but now divorcing but he had been living with and staying home with my children for years so they know him well and are close. My question is do I deprive them of their father for sake of not watching them get hurt again by each trip to jail and supervised visits or do I just allow them to see their father?? Please help! I don't want my children to be emotionally screwed up the rest of their lives!


DeAnn - posted on 10/12/2012




To help with the emotional trauma, I strongly suggest you put your children in regular counseling. This will help them sort through their emotions and teach you parenting techniques to help them cope. I'm sure this is rough on you, too, so maybe family counseling is the best option.

They need to understand that their dad is still their dad, even though he made poor choices. He's accepting the consequences of his actions. It's ok to be angry at him for making bad choices. Who he is as their father and who he is to the outside world are two different things. In the long run, this will make them stronger people. Help them to focus on finding the inner strength to make good choices in life, and eventually forgive him. If they are old enough, give them the choice to visit him or not. You have my sympathy.

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