Asking my 18 yr old to move out.

Steph - posted on 12/30/2015 ( 1 mom has responded )




So this is actually about my niece who turning 19 in 2 weeks. My husband has had custody of her and her sister for the past 4 yrs. Her biological father cane into her life about 4 yrs ago as well and just tried to buy her, gave her everything we couldn't, as we have 2 kids plus her sister we care for. Like phones, shoes, clothes and a car when she was 16 (which I thought she was too young for). Immediately she became rebellious, not coming home on time, not letting us know where she was going, sneaking out the house through the windows! When her dad took her car away because of a fight they had I let her use my car to go to prom. The next day my 11 yr old found a rciept from dennys that was from 4am which means that's how late she came home, then he found something else, a condom wrapper! I was furious but couldn't say anything because my husband always said he would handle it. We had already argued about her treating me like I was no one , she didn't want me to tell her anything because she says I have no authority over her and she continued to do as she pleased. She's mean to her younger sister, and rude to my kids at times but loves everyone else! So I just ignored her and she ignored me is been 6 months and she's still doing what she wants. She won't sit down and talk to me and I don't like feeling like this in my own house. I mean she always got good grades, and got accepted to a few universities but didn't go to any, she stayed home and goes to the local c.c. She has 2 jobs which is good but she doesn't help out at home, not financially but in any kind of way she doesn't lift a finger and that makes me so upset. Well now we have to move and downsize, I told my husband we can't afford to have her come with us unless she sits down and talks to me abs she starts paying rent but he says she can't afford it. I don't want to start a new chapter in life with her and her bad attitude but my husband is set on her moving with us. Am I a bad person for felling this way? I don't know what to do.


Dove - posted on 12/30/2015




Not at all. You are right. It's high time she contribute to the household or find alternate living arrangements. I'm not sure how to handle it if your husband is not on board though. You'd have to convince him of what a huge disservice he is doing to her by not holding her accountable for her actions and requiring that she act like the adult she is.... Good luck!

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