At my wites end

Aimee - posted on 02/21/2018 ( 11 moms have responded )

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I have a 16 yr old step son that will not stop stealing my things. money and anything els he can get his hands on that's mine. I found my slippers hidden in his room.I have been with him sense he was 6 he has always lived with his father and I It has been a ruff road and his mother has only made things worse taking us to court and so one accusing his father and I of abuse and so on. he will not go to school on time its when ever or not at all. I do not get involved in discipline. but I know his father has spoken to him to many times and his behaver hasn't changed. I bought a safe for valuables but that doesn't help my hairbrush . HELP PLEASE!!!

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Margret - posted on 02/25/2018

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It sounds as if he is acting out a desire for his mother’s attention; that's you. Is there a reason why you and your husband do not talk with him together?

Mary - posted on 02/21/2018

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It sounds like this is a sudden and non-characteristic behavior change that began maybe a year ago with the stealing of his fathers car? His behavior seems similar to someone who may be in an abusive situation. I'm not saying you are the ones doing it. But with a teen it's hard to tell, if his mother believes y'all are abusing him (whether its made up or not), then as a teen maybe he's inclined to believe it was well, that is in your step-sons mind, why would his mother make that up?? So then he begins to look at this that and the other and begins to believe that he *is* being abused. So if the court or child services has not stepped in to recommend therapy, I'd suggest you consider that for him. Family setting with you and his father, and invite his mother as well to at least show your step-son that you want to be inclusive.

If mother refuses or trys saying that your trying to gain an edge on the court proceedings you can counsel separate or leave the room and let her explain her position to the therapist then you can come back in and formulate a solution.

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Ashley - posted on 02/23/2018

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Wow.
well... you could ground him, take everything away, even his door.
it will sure humble him.
my parents did that to me when they found out all the bad stuff i was doing in my 15th and 16th year. i was grounded for 3 months (just happened to be summer so no school for me and just nowhere at all). No phone this was 10 years ago so it wasn't really a computer phone anyways, no tv even with the family, no fun with the family i had to stay home, no car, i had to quit my job too. they didnt say your grounded for 3 months but said indefinitely and weren't ever mad at me just disappointed but still loving and my family.
i was ultimately relieved honestly because it left me with NOTHING to worry about, nothing to control, no stress.
it worked great for me. i hope it works for your stepson.
PS i was grounded my mom and Step dad who both have authority over me bacause they are married and thus both my guardians and parents :) good luck

Karen - posted on 02/22/2018

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I have a great idea take him down to a homeless shelter and have him work there for the day he can see just what people go though and maybe then he wont steal karen

Michelle - posted on 02/21/2018

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So apart from talking to him (that obviously isn't working), what are the consequences for his stealing?
It's time for tough love but it has been going on for a long time and it could be too late now.
I would be stripping his room and leaving him with a mattress and change of clothes. Also take the door off. He needs to realize that he doesn't have the right to take anything from others. He has to earn back his things that you and his Dad have paid for and he has to show others respect.

Aimee - posted on 02/21/2018

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No he only steals from me, I dont think its his mother,silly me I forgot he stole his fathers car last year and crashed it, police did nothing to him, he only had a permite and went and hid at his mothers till the dust settled. The stealing has just come up in the last 2 yrs or so.
And amid at me . and he plays dumb doesn't know anything about it ..only child at home and I find my things in his room.

Terri - posted on 02/21/2018

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It is going to need both of you to sort him out does he take from his dad as well or do you think his mother can be behind this as well?

Terri - posted on 02/21/2018

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You can start by talking to him and find out why he is doing this after all why does he want your hairbrush sounds like he has something on his mind and needs to talk bout it

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