Baby daddy problems. What do I do??

Madison - posted on 10/20/2015 ( 3 moms have responded )




I'm 36 weeks pregnant and me and the baby daddy recently split up. I'm only 16 and he's 19. Well the reason we split up is because he's abusive. He kept hitting me all the time before and during my pregnancy. I stayed with him so long because I thought maybe my pregnancy would change him and I really believed that it would, but he just kept getting worse and it was putting my baby at risk with him hitting me all the time. I'm scared to for the baby to be around him because he doesn't control his anger well and I feel a crying baby would set him off and he'd end up hitting the baby. I don't want to tell him when I go into labor and I'm wanting to know if since we are not married or anything if I have to or not. I understand that once he finds out he's born he can fight for custody and that scares me as well. I just don't want him around the baby because I have a very strong feeling he'd hurt him. My new boyfriend already thinks of him as a son and has told me he'd help me raise him, but I have no idea how to go about my ex. What would y'all do in my situation?? I'm confused about the Texas laws regarding this kinda stuff and don't have anyone that can help me.


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Ella - posted on 10/21/2015




You already sound like a great mom for knowing when to flee from a bad situation!

Your well-being and your baby's are important, so you might check with the hospital or even an attorney about protecting your privacy while you are in the hospital.

As for everything else that you seem to be dealing with, be sure to remember that fathers have such an impact on children. I was the product of a teen pregnancy, divorce and abusive father (started with my mom, then to me). I would encourage you to stand your ground on protecting your child. It may be hard, but guarding and protecting their spirit will ultimately be best for them.

If you're up to it, check out this article on The Power of Fathers: It's a great read and it might give you a vision of what to look for in positive male figures in your child's life.

Good luck with your delivery -- your baby is lucky to have a mom who can stand up for what is right even when it is hard.

Michelle - posted on 10/20/2015




You don't have to have anyone at the birth that you don't want. That's YOUR choice not the law. You can let the nurses know not to let him in if he finds out where you are.
In regards to visitation, custody and child support, get yourself a lawyer and get things started. You will need to go to court and get it all in writing. If you fear that he will be abusive towards you then get a restraining order on him so he can't come near you. That won't prevent him from getting to know his child though, you would have to have a 3rd party do the handover.

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