Baby is 18 months old and I'm afraid to leave him with a babysitter!

Heidi - posted on 01/13/2010 ( 7 moms have responded )




I have left my son with my parents, my sister and my in laws a couple times. I just can't leave him with an experieced sitter until he is able to tell me what he did etc...I am also a nanny and have been for 8 years with the same family (part time now) and I bring him with me. He is with me all the time!!! Any suggestions? Is this ok?


View replies by

Paula - posted on 11/10/2013




Those 'strange people' you all speak of we're always there and they always will be. Those kinds of things are SO rare. That's why they make news headlines. The news is one big propaganda machine. And it works.
In all reality, a bomb could technically go off in a supermarket. You could get held at gunpoint at a gas station, your kid could fall down stairs at a friends house due to an unlatched baby gate... Etc.
Point is not to scare you but to show you that all those newsworthy dangers can happen no matter what! No matter if you are here or not!
If you live your life like danger is everywhere, then your plans will always be stunted and your child will never grow to develop a sense of the world.
Use your best judgement. If you live in an ok neighborhood, there is no worry. The family next door probably isn't satan worshipping human sacrificers! If you live on the outskirts of the ghetto, then you may have to watch yourself a bit more. It's just about realistic judgement.

Andrea - posted on 01/13/2010




I know where you are coming from 100%... I have a 2 year old and a 9 month old.. They have never been left with anyone but family...

My mom has told me to try and just go down town to eat which we would be gone for a little of hour or two.. This way we could check in on them and see if the kids were happy... I was a daycare provider for 5 years and have been through a lot of things in that 5 years... I figure that i may give it a try and see how she and the kids get along with me at the house first and then i will try an go from there.. I am still on easy with it.. I think it has to do with being around some one childern and knowing them well enough that they can care for them as if we were there... I know that it is a very hard thing but we aslo need to have time away knowing we can trust the person that is caring for our child/childern... I haven't left my kids often and part of that has to do with issues with a parent i did daycare for.. Then when my daughter was born at 36 weeks with Gastroschisis (insides were outside her body) at only 3lbs 8oz 16 1/2in long.. It got even worse.. Now i am trying to find someone that will take care of her and feed her as they need to.. ( she is only allowed stage 2 baby food at this time) So not to make problem with her belly and what not... I have one young lady that has said when my daughter is 1 year and my son 2.5 years she is more then willing to watch them.. Which i really like her alot and i know she loves the kids as she comes to the house and will play with the kids. (out of the blue.) Best advice i can give is find some one u know and trust... Also have them to the house first... Hope this is helpful and take care..

Best wishes...


[deleted account]

Your not crazy, welcome to 2010. How many times have you seen on those hidden nanny cams people doing awful stuff to kids? It has made my life a bit tough, but no one except my husband, or very close family friends watch my daughter. 99% of the time it is my husband.

Firebird - posted on 01/13/2010




Eh, don't feel bad, you're just being a careful mom! My daughter is 5 and to this day she's never been babysat by someone who isn't related to me, except on 2 occasions and the people I left her with then are people I've been friends with for 7 years!

[deleted account]

I totally understand. I don't think you are overreacting though there are those that will say you are. Times are different these days. You are protecting your child. Recently I read an article about a couple that was running a daycare out of their home and they were "oh so nice". They were sexually abusing most of the children there ages 3mos to 6 years. If you are able and willing to continue what you are doing, there is no harm in it. As a former police officer, I don't leave my child with anyone she is isn't related to or that I haven't known for years. When I did have to do daycare. The daycare facility had cameras in every room, and more than one worker in the room. It was monitored by DHR and I would also randomly show up to check on my child. There are good people out there, but there are also very sick people out there,

Colleen - posted on 01/13/2010




I totally understand your worry as I was exactly the same. There are some very strange people out there and one never can be too careful! Armeka is right, get to know the person who will be your child's sitter. If you can find someone who is recommended by a friend it may be better to use that person.

Maybe invite your chosen sitter around to sit for you while you 'work from home' and then watch how things play out without being in their face! Do this until you are comfortable with the person and get a vibe that makes you feel like they can be trusted. Be sure to be friendly with them and ask them about their family etc. as this will also give you some idea of the type of person they are and their moral standing.

The first time you go out, go for a shorter time than you have told the sitter you'll be out. This way you can 'surprise' them and if anything funny is going on you'll pick up the vibes immediately. By doing this you also make the sitter aware that they can never be sure when you will be back and thus must be on their best behaviour at all times.
Horrible that we have to be like this, but rather safe than sorry I say!!

Armeka - posted on 01/13/2010




i understand were your are coming from with leaving your baby alone with some stranger. but the best advice i can give you is to get to know your childs sitter and you will see how they are and everything. when my oldest daughter was just being born i left her with a babysitter when she was just turning three months old and to me the lady was a complete stranger but now i've talked with her and i've gotten to know who she is. and the great thing about my daughter being at daycare isthat she got to be with other children her own age and they grew up together and when she got of age to go to school it wasn't hard for her to learn how to make friends. so get to know the people who are going to watch your child

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms