baby mom drama ... but child is grown.

Shatika - posted on 02/18/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )




Good morning moms. I been married for 7 years.. I have one child before marriage and so did my husband. Both children are the same age ..grown now..20 years problem is from day one .with the son mother is always asking for money... when she don't get what she wants you don't hear from Her my point is that my husband hasn't seen his son in years... and you only hear from them on his birthday...he is 20 years old...she felt she had to call for no he is my husband called to find out whats going on...she complained about she didn't have food or no ....that's nt my husband problem. Then she start texin .I was a bird...wife I'm crazy all d above.. oh yea we have two young babys.. three year old an 5month.. what happen 8years ago with her an the son? now she wants her child to build a relationship ... or she wants to get what ever she can ....? Try to mess up a happy home.... I think she cross the I want nothing to do with the situation.


Angela - posted on 02/18/2014




Your husband should make the effort to build a relationship with his son - I'm sure you still have an ongoing relationship with your own child who is the same age?

He does not "owe" any time, money, attention or effort towards his son's mother. But he really SHOULD seek out his son and re-build their relationship. This does NOT have anything to do with his ex-partner, however.

Instead of his ex-partner contacting you & your husband on the boy's birthday, your husband should contact THEM FIRST.

He needs to speak to his son - alone without the mother being there - and establish what his son wants and needs. Explain that he is NOT going to be around for the exclusive purpose of bailing him out with money or material contributions but wants a RELATIONSHIP. If the son declines any father/son quality time and only has a shopping list of requests for cash etc .... that's not a relationship and is an attempt to take advantage. This needs to be discussed WITHOUT the boy's mother present - and probably without YOU present either.

He should also build a relationship with YOUR 2 children who are his half-siblings. You should make him welcome and encourage this. Again, if he does not want this and only wishes to remain in contact with his father as a resource (i.e. an open cheque book) then it's time to cut the strings!

However, if there is any chance of this young man being able to have a father/son relationship with your husband and of him getting to know his young siblings then it should be encouraged. You must not cut this your man out of your lives without good reason. You cannot pretend that he doesn't exist whilst you play "happy families" with your husband and young children! I bet you don't pretend your own older child doesn't exist - even if he/she doesn't live with you!

Good luck.


View replies by

Shatika - posted on 02/18/2014




Thanks angela barker.. for your response. So true your words ... straight to the point you was very on point...

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms