baby refusing breast

Lacey - posted on 11/10/2009 ( 15 moms have responded )

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My baby is too used to the bottle and is now refusing to nurse. She is now 10 weeks old and i still want to nurse, but i can't stand the screaming and crying whenever I try. If she is calm she will latch right on, but if she is upset, forget it. I'm busy now and i kind of want to stop. But I feel like the formulas i've been using make her gasey and she spits up more. Any advice? I've tried enfamil that is closest to breast milk, similac for sptting up and gas and similac w/ soy. The last one seems to be okay, not the best, but better than the others.

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Lacey - posted on 11/13/2009

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Thanks for all the advice. I have been trying to get her on my breast in the morning, but she will only stay on for a few minutes. As the day wears on she won't get on at all. I've been so busy she drank all the breast milk I pumped already. She is sleeping now and about to get up soon. I guess I just have to clear my schedule and pump a lot and try to get her to latch on as long as she can go.
I do like the closeness, but i am trying to find a job so its interfering with me trying to pump. Its easier to just whip out the bottle, but then you have to deal with the digestive issues. My boyfriend's family are huge advocates of breastfeeding so I've felt a lot of pressure from them. They say things like it she smells like formula, she needs a bath, she has stinky gas. I told him I feel judged by them. I said why don't they come over and give her a bath? I said i'm just sensitive. But I'm over it. My Mom just said take the advice and be polite.

Kayla - posted on 11/12/2009

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This happened with my son a couple of months ago. I'm all for breast-feeding, but after he turned 6 months, he just up and decided he no longer wanted the breast. There were too many things to see and do, that he didn't have time to calm down and nurse, especially since he couldn't turn his head and look around while he was doing it! he pretty much stopped cold turkey. I would pump as much as I could, but I couldn't get enough milk or suction to get my flow going, so I eventually just gave in and gave him formula. He was on similac advance, but now he's on good start because that's what WIC gives you. Most women who breastfeed want to do it for as long as possible, and that closeness is like nothing you can imagine, but some babies don't agree. The fact that you still have nursed her for this long, she's still got the antibodies and closeness she needs to be happy and healthy. I still wish that I was nursing (except for the fact that my 9 month old has 4 teeth now!), so try everything to keep that going! I know it's hard with work, but invest in a nice electric pump (there's a new one from Medela that has an electric pump the size of your palm) and keep your milk frozen, and everything can work out great! Try feeding her before she starts fussing or screaming, when she's calm and will possibly take the breast easier. If she starts nursing normally again, when she's older there's a very strong chance that she'll be in the same mentality again, since she's playing and more interested in things other than eating. But go for as long as possible, breast is best.

Debra - posted on 11/12/2009

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I'm all for breast milk for as long as possible. If there's one thing almost everyone agrees on it's that breast milk is best for baby. Having said that I've known many women who either can't breast feed or their babies don't like the breast, my daughter included.

The best advice I can give you having watched her go through it with 3 babies is to get at good electric breast pump and freeze your milk for the baby. If you have a Le Leche League in your area they have excellent help for all aspects of breast feeding.

Also, on a personal note, I was able to breast feed my daughter and it was the best thing I ever experienced but because of medical reasons could not nurse my son and I missed that closeness until a friend from Le Leche advised me to go ahead and let his lay on the breast even though I was giving him a bottle. That warmth and skin to skin contact was great for both of us.

Good Luck.

Eileen - posted on 11/11/2009

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This problem happeend with my first son. Definitely use slow flow nipples. If you've been using the bottle a lot, you might have decreased your milk supply, but that doesn't mean you have to stop nursing. Clear your schedule for 2 days straight and offer your breast whenever she cries. The constant suckling will increase your supply. I exclusively breasfed my 2nd son longer and I can see the difference (far less fussiness and digestive issues.) All formulas are the same in the end, but none are close to your milk.

Lacey - posted on 11/11/2009

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I do the same exact thing! But she starts to realize that nothing is coming out of the passi and starts screaming. So i try and try to get her to latch on, but she knows eventually she will get the instant satisfaction of the bottle so i give in b/c I can't stand the screams! i pumped last night and today and gave her a slow flow bottle. she nursed a little at first. in the morning she nurses the best and then as the day goes on she gets less and less tolerant until she just won't latch on at all. I had to do some formula today b/c i simply ran out of what I pumped and had no time to pump again. I used a slow flow nipple and burped after 2 oz and she seemed to do better. Still spits up a lot more w/ formula, but less w/ the slow flow nipple. She is a pip!

[deleted account]

My baby does this sometimes too...it seems as thought he is SO hungry and really upset. He is on breast at home but bottles at day care so it might also be he wants the instant satisfaction of the bottle. If I put him to the breast and he starts screaming I just pull him off and put the pacifier in for a few minutes and try to calm him down. Repeat. Sometimes it takes 4 or 5 times but eventually the milk comes and he stays latched on.

Jessica - posted on 11/10/2009

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there are nipple covers u can get which are used for protecting the nipple. u could try this a couple of times n once bub has latched on and settle take it off n let her go natural. keep goin til bub gets used to it. n once she hs that closeness she should be fine
i m huge on breast feeding your baby, but at the end of the day she is ur child n no one else is goin to breast feed her but u. dont stress urself out it will only upset bub even more. do what feels right. i use Tommee Tippee closure to nature bottles n breast pump. i used these for my 1st who is nearly 3 n only stopped breast feeding at 20months, n im using the same for my 14week old. so u could give it a go try expressing definately

Tania - posted on 11/10/2009

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Is there a reason you need to give the bottle? If not, I would nix the bottle and exclusively breastfeed. If you must use a bottle(because you are back to work), pump and give her your milk in a bottle. There is no formula "close" to breastmilk. Not even close. Be patient with her, your milk will be the best thing you ever give!

Anna - posted on 11/10/2009

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Quoting Gwen:

try pumping some breast milk to freeze. you can thaw and give to her mixed w/ formula. or, when i went back to work, we nursed 6am, 6pm and bedtime. she took formula at the babysitter's. that worked out pretty well too.


Just a quick note - it is not recommended to mix formula with breastmilk.  The breastmilk breaks down proteins in the formula.  It's totally fine to feed both breastmilk and formula, just not mixed together.  As much breastmilk as your baby can get will be good for her!  Good luck!

[deleted account]

You can pump or squeeze milk out to get the flow going before trying to latch her. She's getting used to the instant reward that you get from a bottle. I agree that using a slow flow nipple will help. My daughter is 6 months and if she ever gets a bottle of breastmilk we still use the stage one nipples.

Bianca Fiallo - posted on 11/10/2009

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try some glycerine on the nipple and stroke her over her forehead. I used avent teats and niplet could easily x-fer between breast and bottle from 2 weeks and kept it up for 6 months, persistence is success!!

Gwen - posted on 11/10/2009

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try pumping some breast milk to freeze. you can thaw and give to her mixed w/ formula. or, when i went back to work, we nursed 6am, 6pm and bedtime. she took formula at the babysitter's. that worked out pretty well too.

Christina - posted on 11/10/2009

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You could try using a breast pump and putting the milk in bottles for her....that way she is comfortable with the bottles and she can will take to the breast milk. There are different kind of pumps you can get...just try the one that suits you best and the one that you are comfortable with too.

Lacey - posted on 11/10/2009

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thanks jessica! I have one bottle with slow flow so I use that all the time. i'm just busier now that i've started working. I do feel guilty for wanting to stop. its just easier to pull out a bottle. but then you have to deal with the gas and spitting up so its very frustrating. my boyfriends family are very anti-formula. so i guess thats part of the problem. I just try to be polite and take the advice, but ultimately its what makes me happy and my choice in the end.

User - posted on 11/10/2009

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I have had this happen to mee. Its hard.. really hard. I was told to try using bottles that have a lower flow level usually for younger babies.. It may not be the bottle she like necessarily as how fast the liquid comes out. Also dont be too hard on yourself if you end up stopping its not the end of the world... I hated feeling so guilty.

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