Baptism Problem

Kylie - posted on 03/02/2016 ( 2 moms have responded )




Long story short the father of my child started dating another girl when he found out I was pregnant. He wasn't there for me for anything and played it all off like he didn't care. When I went into labor he texted me said he wouldn't do anything until he got a paternity test done. We came back with flying colors! He has yet to even try to be put on the birth certificate. Him and his gf are making my life hell with their "perfect relationship" statuses and crap all over social media. Side not...he lied to his gf for 3 months into the relationship and didn't even tell her he was expecting a child. she found out on facebook. He then never told his parents until a month before our beautiful daughter was born. He has just not been a man about any of this. If you read my first conversation you can see the whole story.
Now that our daughter is here I most definently want to have her baptized. Her father and I go to the same church. His mother is very nice and excited about this and me and her get along great so far. My issue is, he is already challenging me on his GF coming to her baptism. I DO NOT want her at my daughters baptism. If he brings the girl he started dating while I was pregnant who DOESNT care about our child in any way shape or form (and I know that is a fact as her friends have told me) there on such a special day. She does not like she is very upfront with her "I don't care he has a child I come first In his life" attitude. I have even offered to meet her and get to know her to be more comfortable with her around and the father says absolutely not.
Am I wrong for telling him he cannot bring her to our daughters baptism? I have invited our mutual friends and I know he will ask how come I can do that but, he cant bring his gf but, I just feel like she isn't a permanent part of his life (they are not engaged n haven't been together even a year yet) and our friends love and care for our daughter and she doesn't. I just always try to see both sides but, in my heart I will be crushed if she is there on my daughters day.


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Sarah - posted on 03/02/2016




I agree, you can't keep her out of picture forever. Try to be the bigger person. When a child is baptized at my church, the parents and godparents are the only one called to the altar. So she would be left sitting in the pew anyway. On a side note, why did you not name him on the BC, or just take the paternity test results and have it amended. File for child support. You child is entitled to be financially supported by both parents.

Michelle - posted on 03/02/2016




I understand the frustration but if they do stay together then you will have to deal with her at special events for a very long time. Do you really want to start a problem now? Just think how your child will feel at her wedding or 21st and she has to choose between you or her step mother (I know they aren't married but it could happen). Do you really want that to happen?
In regards to them making your life hell by posting about their relationship on social media, unfriend them or block their newsfeed. You choose what you see, so stop having it come up. They are allowed to post what they want, you are the one that controls what you see and how you react.

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