Biodonor just got Default child support Judgement

Carol - posted on 01/13/2016 ( 4 moms have responded )




I applied to child support last feb 2015.. since my child has been born, the father has never wanted anything to do with their life. They did give money for them here and there during the earlier years.. A couple of years ago they told me that they didn't have any money and I didn't ask him for any for the entire year.. after that I said I needed him to help again. He started sending money every few months and then finally last year I received nothing.. So I filed. I just noticed today that he had on his case (Default order for paternity and child support. The gave a certificate for default judgement and child support worksheet.)

I don't think he even did a swab. My case worker told me that they wanted a swab from me and I said, I already did a swab... Also, I don't live in DC. He does. So they must have been looking to swab him and thought it was me.. Anyway,,,, he had a continuance on his case for the last 3 months. (trying to stall). I gathered he was calling them with excuses... and Last week... he defaulted.. He didn't show up for court.. Pathetic.

That is the only word.. I can think of PATHETIC... I didn't do this just for the money. I can take care of my child... I had too.. I didn't get pregnant by myself.. I dealt with my "mistake" (my child isn't a mistake) an adult.. and he can run away???? NO!!!!... but having a chase a 47 year old man around to make him be responsible???... I can't believe I am living my nightmare.. Oh.. well.. there is a judgement now.. He will have a bill for the next 12 years..Good for him.. If he doesn't pay.. it will just grow. And you know.. I feel better but ruining someones life doesn't make me happy... It shouldn't have come to this..

In september, he sent me a Happy Birthday text on my birthday... what was that for? On christmas I sent him a text saying merry christmas... and he never responded... (don't ask me why I did this... I am still emotional about this.. I got a little weak...) I wont do it again.. surely. What is wrong with people.


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Dove - posted on 01/13/2016




You have the support order (hopefully you have a custody and visitation order as well... even if he has zero interest in seeing his child... orders are still a good idea to have in place to protect the child). Now just live your life and don't worry about what he does or does not do.

My ex has racked up over $30,000 in back support... and I really don't care one bit. Granted, when I saw him on his cousin's Facebook and saw that he started a gofundme account trying to get people to give him money to build a house... I got a good laugh out of the idiotic irony... but what he does or does not do in his life doesn't impact ME one bit.

The only hard part for us is the fact that he does still have contact w/ the kids, but it's rare and random... and that makes it hard on them because they feel like they've been replaced by his 'new' family (and in reality... they have... even if he still does love the kids he has w/ me... they sure don't get to feel it).

Raye - posted on 01/13/2016




First, he is not a bio-donor. You had sex with him willingly, and conceived a baby.

Second, NO ONE should consider it "ruining someone's life" to file for child support, or feel that there's anything wrong with doing so. You should have done it immediately upon your child being born, or separation from the father, whichever was later. It is the CHILD's right to have financial assistance from BOTH parents. The father has a legal responsibility to provide for his offspring, whether he wants to be active in the child's life or not. HE was a participant in the act of sex that resulted in a child, so HE must also be held accountable for the consequences.

YOU are not ruining his life. YOU are not doing anything wrong by filing for support. ALL parents should try to do right by their child(ren).

My advice is to only communicate with him regarding the child. If he sends anything personal to you, ignore it. He's playing games. You should also not send anything personal to him. Keep it all strictly about the child. Please also keep in mind that payment or non-payment of child support has no bearing on custody or visitation. If you do not already have a custody order in place, then you should go to court for that too. Just so both parents know what their rights are and what orders to follow regarding visitation (if any) with his kid.

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