Biricial Child with alot of questions i dont know how to answer

Sheree - posted on 09/28/2015 ( 1 mom has responded )




Its the first time for me to join a group like this so if I'm doing it all wrong I'm sorry!!
I need advise on how do help or deal with or understand what my daughter is going through.
7 year back I had the most beautiful baby girl I'm white and her dad is a colored, we broke up shortly after she was born due to a long distance thing. Due to the distance still being there he only sees her ones on twice a year for short periods she has never seen his family and he is the only coloured person she really knows except for friends at school.

She had never asked me any questions about why me and him has different skin colour up to now. He came to visit her this weekend and she had a wonderful time with him she really loves her dad. I invited him to come to her concert on Wednesday, I just told her that her dad will be at her concert and her reaction is breaking my heart and I don't know how to handle it. She is crying and telling me that shes ashamed of him and don't want he friends to see that her dad is different all her friend have white mom and dads and that shes the only one with a brown dad and she's not brown what will the friend say and what will she answer them she is very upset coz if I tell him now that he must rather not come to the concert that he will be upset with her because she is ashamed of him and she doesn't want him to be upset i think that she doesn't love him even if he is brown.

I told her that there is nothing wrong with the fact that her dad is a different skin colour to us and that there is alot of families like that but i think the reason she is reaction like this is because he is not really part of her live only once a year then he is gone again.

What can do to make her understand or to help her. . . . I don't know what to do or how to help her its not nice to see her this upset with this she is i a school where she deals with all races everyday because I wanted to make it easier on her and let her understand we are all the same.

Please Help with any advise


Raye - posted on 09/28/2015




You should get her active in different groups that have multi-racial couples and kids. She should not be ashamed of her father or concerned that he is different. Tell her if her friends have a problem with it then they are not her true friends and it's THEIR problem, not hers. He is her dad, he loves her and he wants to be at the concert.

She may need to get into counseling. If she sees her father as being bad and different, then it's also half of herself that is bad and different, and that could start causing major self-esteem issues. There is nothing wrong with her, and nothing wrong with her father. People are just people, regardless of their skin color.

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