birth plans

MaryAnn - posted on 08/26/2015 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Im 35 weeks pregnant and now is the time for me to start thinking aboutthe big day, and i need a little reassurance.
Im a very private person, and i do not want to have the grand parents waiting for me in the waiting room. I have a strong feeling my mother in law and father in law will understand.
My parents have been divorced for... Jeeze, 23 years? Idk. Longer than i can remember.
I just had my baby shower, co ed, and i absolutely do NOT want to see both my parents at the same time again.
They didnt fight, but my father was chatting up his family about my mother continuing to engage in parental alienation to this day. In my mothers back yard. At my baby shower. Because my sister is withdrawing after he verbally assaulted her last week. Shes an adult, and a parent if that helps.
My relationship with him is only months in the healing process after two years of radio silence for the same thing.
I expressed to my mom that i really just want to call her when im ready for visitors. But she went on and on and on about her rights as my mother and my childs grandmother. I dont trust her to resect me in this.
If my father finds out, I risk having the same old verbal assault/blaming my mother for his issues duo, and i really dont want that.
Anyone have any relevant experience in asking parents/grandparents to respect birth wishes?
I feel like Im going to need to go to the hospital in secret to give birth... And its not sitting well.

2 Comments

View replies by

Michelle - posted on 08/27/2015

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Sarah has said some really good points.
I also wouldn't let anyone know you're in labor if you don't even want them in the waiting room.
Yes, your Mother is the Grandmother but YOUR rights as the person giving birth is that you can choose who knows about it and who doesn't.
If you feel that you do need to let them know when you go to hospital, make sure the nurses know not to let anyone in with you until you have said they can come in. Make sure your husband is also on the same page so that the nurses can ask him as well.

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