birth plans

MaryAnn - posted on 08/26/2015 ( 1 mom has responded )




Im 35 weeks pregnant and now is the time for me to start thinking aboutthe big day, and i need a little reassurance.
Im a very private person, and i do not want to have the grand parents waiting for me in the waiting room. I have a strong feeling my mother in law and father in law will understand.
My parents have been divorced for... Jeeze, 23 years? Idk. Longer than i can remember.
I just had my baby shower, co ed, and i absolutely do NOT want to see both my parents at the same time again.
They didnt fight, but my father was chatting up his family about my mother continuing to engage in parental alienation to this day. In my mothers back yard. At my baby shower. Because my sister is withdrawing after he verbally assaulted her last week. Shes an adult, and a parent if that helps.
My relationship with him is only months in the healing process after two years of radio silence for the same thing.
I expressed to my mom that i really just want to call her when im ready for visitors. But she went on and on and on about her rights as my mother and my childs grandmother. I dont trust her to resect me in this.
If my father finds out, I risk having the same old verbal assault/blaming my mother for his issues duo, and i really dont want that.
Anyone have any relevant experience in asking parents/grandparents to respect birth wishes?
I feel like Im going to need to go to the hospital in secret to give birth... And its not sitting well.


~♥Little Miss - posted on 08/27/2015




This might not be a solution, but what about sitting down with everyone (including in laws and husband-like a brunch) and explain to everyone at the same time, that you will call them when it is ok to visit. That any visitors will not be allowed into the room until you decide you are ready. (the nursing and staff will indeed listen to your wishes and not let anyone into your room unless you say it is ok. You let them know that as soon as you are at the hospital). That because giving birth is so exhausting, physically, emotionally, that you will have them all visit at separate times. If that does not bode well, then you can tell them you will give them a call when you are at home and they can visit at that time.

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