blended family of daddy's girl and mommy's boy

Ellen - posted on 04/26/2011 ( 2 moms have responded )




my family consists of two 3 years olds. One happens to be a daddy's girl and the other is a mommy's boy. The girl has daddy wrapped around her finger everything we do ends up being a crying session. he has her part time a couple days during the week and so i feel like he just gives into everything because 'he doesnt see her everyday' but then i have my son pretty much full time. it causes fights all the time because i get frustrated that he just doesnt put his foot down to her and be the parent and not the friend. when i have both the kids or her she is fine its whenever he is in the picture. how can i bring issues up to him without it being a fight over who treats their kids which way.
another issue is bed time! i was a single mom for 2 years when my son was born and my son slept with me.then i ended up living with a friend and her kids so they all had bedtime and went to sleep on their own. now that we have moved in together i have gotten them each their own car and princess bed. daddy has a hard time with it because he wants to sleep with both the kids in bed and i disagree because he works all day and til 9 pm 4 nights out of the week so i feel like bedtime gives us our time. so i have gottten him to put her to sleep in her bed but in middle of night he wants to just let them sleep with us and causes another fight.
sorry im typing this fast due to not having much time to do this but if anyone has any advice for blending a family that has a spoiled daddys girl and a ornery stubborn mommy's boy it would be much appreciated!!!


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[deleted account]

Since you have a boy you seem to forget what it's like to be a little girl.....we want our Daddy's attention and will vie for his attention from our own mothers so.....yes you are a bit of a rival for her. SHE is the child, still a baby really and the separation from her father is devastating! The guilt her father feels is overwhelming for him. Don't make it worse for either of them. A Daddy can and should spoil his children with one on one time, love and affection. I totally disagree with either of them ever sleeping in your marital bed with you both! These kids are not related and should not be in that bed.....all kinds of trouble could come from that. I would suggest he schedule his time with his baby while she will actually be able to be with him; nights when he can be there for her. One last thought for you to ponder; how much could you respect him if he did not spend time with his own child?

Louise - posted on 04/26/2011




Stick to your guns with not having the kids in the bed this is your territory and should not be invaded by the little ones. How would you maintain a physical relationship with the kids in the bed! No not on. He sounds very protective over his daughter but she will not be little for long and if he does not set the boundaries now he is going to have one hell of a spoilt teenager on his hands that will be uncontrolable. He has to stop acting as best mate and be a father. I am sure the birth mother has a hard time with the little girl if she gets away with everything at your house. Sit your husband down and tell him the house rules. Tell him you want to be a family and that means teaching the children the same rules of the house. Disciplin needs to be uniformed for all not just what he pleases for his daughter and your son gets told off. No the children have to be treated the same, or your son is going to feel like he is always naughty and she is the favoured one. Surely he can see what he is doing to his daughter and that this is causing a strain on the relationship. It is up to him to adapt to being in a relationship and raising a child. Maybe some counciling for both of you to discuss this openly would be good. This is going to develop into a major problem if you don't sort it out now.

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