Blessings VS baptizing: Am I being unreasonable?

Corinne - posted on 07/05/2012 ( 15 moms have responded )




First of all, I come from a very devoted Mormon family and have formed my own opinions about religion that basically go with most of the teachings of the LDS church but not all. One belief I am very certain on is that baptizing a baby is not needed; each person is held accountable for their own sins, not for those of Adam. If you don't know much about the Mormon religion when a baby is born they are given a blessing to help them throughout their life. I had my two year old daughter blessed when she was born and am pregnant with my second little girl. The thing is my husband (not my first daugthers biological dad) isn't religious but his family is Catholic and wants her to be baptized. While I feel I have the right to say no to a baptizm can I turn around and get her blessed? I really want some outside points of view, I don't want to offend anyone but at the same time in my mind a baptizim is a commitment while a blessing is more of a hope for the baby.


Jodi - posted on 07/05/2012




Within the Catholic church, the baptism isn't committing the child to Cathlocism, it is committing the parents, and the godparents, to raising the child in the faith, not committing the child to being OF the faith. The sacraments of reconciliation, eucharist and finally, confirmation are what commits the child to following the faith.

When it comes down to it, don't you both believe in the same God? Really, this has to be a choice between you and your husband. Ultimately, his family should stay out of it.

Having said that, if your husband is a practicing Catholic, and you are Mormon, then how are you planning on raising your children? Are you raising them in both faiths or only one, or none at all? I think you need to ask yourself those questions before you decide together.

Kristin - posted on 07/09/2012




I am catholic and was told There is no reason the get the child baptized if you have no intention on raising the baby catholic.
This was told to me by the deacon of my church and the priest.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 07/08/2012




I disagree with your Pastor Mary. When they receive first communion and confirmation, that IS them making the choice. Baptism is just about the family saying they will raise the child with the faith, and absolving the child of original sin. It is to help protect them. Even if fictional, it is a nice way to start life.

Sherri - posted on 07/05/2012




Sorry these are things that strongly should have been discussed before marriage in my opinion. However, in my experience both can be done. You can raise her in both religions therefore you should have the blessing in your church and the baptism done in the catholic church.

We are only Catholic and we only believe in baptisms however, it is enormously important in our religion to have our babies baptised as soon as possible. Typically by 4mo's old. However, with that being said as Jodi stated it isn't committing the child to anything. It is simply a promise by the parents and the godparents to raise the child in that faith. It also absolves your infant of the sins that they are born with.

So although you feel strongly for your religion you need to also respect your husbands feeling and honor is wishes for this child for his religion. This child is yours equally therefore both religions should be honored equally.


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Corinne - posted on 07/09/2012




Thanks for all the feedback everyone, I'm glad I got some different points of view. My husband is the type that if he doesn't feel strongly about it he just goes with what I want which is nice but I feel selfish sometimes getting my way 75% of the time. I was mainly concerned about offending his dad but when it comes down to it our wants are more important.
My husband and I have decided to mainly raise her in the Mormon religion but let our personal beliefs that kind of stray from the mainstream teachings known and let both the girls decide. I feel a lot better now deciding on just giving her a blessing and I'm sure it won't be the end of the world for her grandpa since he's not that devoted of a follower anyways.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 07/09/2012




Little miss, in the Catholic religion, the baptism ceremony is the commitment of the family to raise child in the faith.

However, in a Non-Denominational Christian church, the baptism ceremony is saying that "I, personally, have made the choice to take Jesus into my heart, and follow his teachings". So, baptism for an infant is discouraged, because they cannot have made the personal choice at that age. In my religion of choice, it is encouraged for children to wait until at least 13 before making such a decision.

Corinne, you really should have discussed this prior to your marriage to a person of the Catholic faith. Two of the biggest differences, as far as religious teachings go, are the Catholics and the Mormons. I've seen relationships work, and marriages of these two faiths have lasted, but generally, one of the religions gets chosen over the other.

It's time to sit down with your husband, and decide what THE TWO OF YOU want. Then, explain it to your families. As long as you're good with the phrase "We're her parents, and we're pretty happy with our decision", you'll be fine.

Mica - posted on 07/08/2012




i was also raised in the mormon faith, i did not get my daughter a blessing mostly because i have not been participating at church as much as i should. life is too busy. i dont fully regret it but i am disapointed in myself for not doing it. now my husband is cathloic as well and he did want to get her baptized. (i think mostly because his family is very practicing in the religion) my husband is not though. i dont see the point in it. i feel she can be baptized when she is ready to commit to that choice. it was not to long before his family stopped asking when i was going to have her baptized. do what you and your husband feels is right not what his family thinks is right. it is your parenting choice alone.

Mary Louise - posted on 07/07/2012




At my church we bless the child rather then baptized because my pastor said a person should make that decision themselves. A baby can not make that decision,so when the child decide when or ifthey want to be baptize it should be their decision.

Lynda - posted on 07/07/2012




I agree with you Corinne, baptising a baby is not needed but also not scriptural. A person gets baptised when they are old enough to make a decision to verbally acknowledge Jesus Christ as their saviour and then follow in believers baptism, something a baby is unable to do Show these scriptures to his family as a reason why your baby shouldn't be baptised.
(Romans 10:9 That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.
. Acts 2:38 Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost.

The decision is up to you and your husband not his family.

[deleted account]

I agree with the others: this is your baby, your husband's baby. Not HIS family's baby.

However- if your husband expresses a desire to have the baby baptized, I would not blatently dismiss his feelings and desires either. I cannot see a reason why you cannot do both a blessing in the mormon church and a baptism in the catholic church. As parents, you will teach your child(ren) and model your faith. But ultimately as adults, your child(ren) will chose their own spiritual path. Why not then offer them both of what your families have to offer?

Good luck- and let us know what you decide to do.

Krista - posted on 07/07/2012




I agree with Dove and Becky. This decision is yours and your husband's to make -- nobody else's.

Dove - posted on 07/06/2012




This is something that is entirely up to you and your husband and no one else.

Becky - posted on 07/06/2012




You said his family wants..... Did you happen to talk to your husband and find out what his feelings are? Because, in a nut shell, this is your child. Not his family's child. This is something that you need to discuss with your husband, and not worry about what his family thinks.

Corinne - posted on 07/06/2012




My husband was agnostic(sp?) until recently; we talk about it sometimes and he agrees a lot with my presonal take on the Mormon religion. We have decided to tell the girls what we believe, teach them the basics of the Bible and it's teaching and let them figure out what they feel is right. We both only feel comfortable at an LDS service and go if my family is asked to prepare a lesson. He just wants to honor his dad's wishes (who hasn't gone to service since his 22 year old daughter was baptized), not what the baptizim really is supposed to mean.
If my husband was very devoted to the Catholic religion we A)most likely wouldn't have gotten married or B)would do neither as to respect both of us.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 07/05/2012




Why can't you do both? I don't think it is right to only honor your beliefs and not your husbands. Regardless of how religious he is or isn't. I think it is a bit selfish and rude. If you aren't going to do one, don't do either.

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