Boys who act out bc fathers dont spend time with them!

S - posted on 02/13/2011 ( 4 moms have responded )




Ok i have a friend that is remarried and has two sons her oldest is from her first relationship the second from her husband now.... her oldest son is acting out says hes jealous of his younger brother, that his mom is the devil, he wants to live with his father all these things but this child is not treated any different and has way more than other kids his age which he is 5 years old but very smart, so today i was on the phone with her and i asked her to ask him why he acts out his answer was because hes bored i knew there was more to it so i ask her to ask him if he act out bc he wants more time with his father his answer then was... My dad sleeps all the time, all he does is play video games, he never shows me any attention as he started to cry. Now my question is what should she do she has tried numorous time to talk with his father and he just brushes it off like no big deal?


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Bonnie - posted on 02/13/2011




I agree with letting the son tell his dad himself how he really feels. Sometimes when you hear it from a child it really hits hard and then you realise how upset he really is and maybe this will make his dad feel guilty.

[deleted account]

I agree w/ trying to get the boy to tell his father how he feels, but I've been trying to get my girls (now 9) to really talk to their father for almost 3 years now and they won't..... Maybe 'step dad' could take him out for some one on one time. Things don't show love... time does. Maybe he is treated the same, but doesn't FEEL the same..... I don't know what else to suggest.

[deleted account]

It's hard to introduce a conversation when you KNOW it's going to upset your child....but I'm afraid the only thing I can come up with is to try and get the little boy to say these things again, when Dad is near.
I can't promise this is going to change anything...but we can hope that if Dad sees how upset it makes the little one, it might make a difference. Often times my husband will dismiss something I have said to him, as if I were just rambling. When HE sees the issue it makes things much more realistic for him.
None of us want to ENCOURAGE our husbands OR or children to play video games, but maybe there could be a compromise here? Can you possibly encourage the two to play a video game TOGETHER?
It sounds to me like they need some bonding. The websites all suggest that bathing, mealtimes and bedtime are great times to squeeze in a little bonding...Is there any way you can get the Dad involved in the little one's routine some? Maybe if Dad could be the one to take the little boy to daycare or school occasionally it could give them some alone time, without pressure from others.

Nicole - posted on 02/13/2011




i think this child needs to be tested and the mother can be professionally advised on how to use his high intelligence in more constructive ways. then he will be less bored. at the moment he is playing and experimenting with the human psyche - specifically him mum :o) xx

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