Can he do anything without knowing were im at?

[deleted account] ( 2 moms have responded )

Ok i was in a 3 year relationship and finally got out. It was emotionally abusive and controlling. 2 and half years in we got pregnant. In the beginning i left because he told me i should get a abortion and wished upon me to have a miscarriage. Then he got a hold of me and promised he would change so i went back to him. Over the 5 months he didn't change he got worse, more than he ever was. Threatened me that once i had the baby he would kick me out and take the baby from me. And also threatened a joint custody battle and that i would not be able to go out of state. (my family is the next state down), He also was a pot smoker and wasted a lot of his money on weed. A week before i left he made me choose between my doctors appointment and food. I couldn't take anymore and thats why i left. Also i felt i was putting my baby in a bad situation. (forgot to mention that he had a dog that snapped and growled at me, him and his friends kids and also cats that sprayed everywhere, i brought it up to him that these animals weren't right for our child and that they needed to go and he ignored my feelings and said it will be fine nothing will happen) He has no idea were i am at and i have no intention on getting back with him and working anything out. He knows my email so he could get a hold of me to ask how the baby is doing but he doesn't do so. I am not going to put him on the birth certificate. If he doesn't know were im at can he do anything to take my baby away?


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[deleted account]

Thank you :) your comment makes me feel alot better. and i have moved with my family finally and i am 100x more happier here with them.

Anaquita - posted on 10/16/2012




If he's not on the birth certificate, and you don't file for child support, it sounds like he probably won't even try. Guys like that tend not to care. He was using the baby as one more way to control you. Keep in mind your baby will eventually want to know who his or her father is. So be prepared for that. But from the sounds of it, right now it's safer to be away from him, the abuse, and the drugs he does.

If you want to be near your family, move there now, before the baby is born. Then if he should try to do something you've already moved, and therefore he can't force you to stay in the state. Also bring up what happened in said relationship, and they can hopefully put in a parenting plan, anger management, drug and alcohol rehab, parenting classes, and supervised visits.

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