Can't stand fiance when SS is around

Lacy - posted on 06/07/2015 ( 3 moms have responded )




My fiance's son (5) is over every weekend, alternating between the whole weekend and just Friday nights. Since school is out though, we get him every other week for the whole week. I never had a problem with him while I was pregnant. Recently though, I can't hardly stand him especially when he is around his dad. My fiance acts like he is dad of the year and loves on him and completely pushes me and our son aside. He doesn't help with the baby one bit and thinks because he goes to work and cooks supper, his job is done. His son sleeps in the bed with us, won't eat anything other than cookies and ice cream, and is spoiled rotten. He expects a new Lego set every time he's over here and pouts when his mamaw tells him she can't afford one. I love my fiance, but I dread the weeks his son is here. I feel bad for being unfriendly to them when he's here, but I'm fed up. I feel like he should be sleeping in a bed of his own, have some rules, and that my fiance should acknowledge that he has two sons now. I understand that he feels like he needs to male it up to his son that him and his ex-wife split, but aren't there better ways than to spoil him? I'm scared our son will feel like his daddy doesn't want anything to do with him when ever his brother is over here.


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Jady - posted on 06/12/2015




You answer your own question rules... rules &routine is key.

Being pushed out.. I'm unsure if that's what your partner is intending. Unfortunately there's only souch he can do. And one has to keep the balance. ..

Your home.. your rules. Speak to your partner.

On the toys front... birthdays and Christmas " get a piggyback and encourage him to save for his fave toy - let him help out to urn some saving money. Help dry the dishes..

Hope this helps

Ev - posted on 06/07/2015




I have to agree with Michelle on this.

You two should have sat down in the beginning and discussed how children were going to be raised. It seems there is a clear lack of communication. You have not said that you have told him how it makes you feel and what you think should be done. So he does not know what is going on in your head. So first things first, maybe some counseling and parenting classes to go with it. Also express your concerns of his lack of interest in the child he and you have together.

Michelle - posted on 06/07/2015




Surely this was going on before you had your child.
Dad needs to step up and be a parent, not a buddy. I agree with you that the child should be in his own bed as well.
Maybe suggest to your fiance that he attend some parenting classes to find other ways to spend time with his children.

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