Change in Custody after Mediation papers signed?

Sierra - posted on 02/07/2015 ( 1 mom has responded )




Hello, Single California working Mom with a 10 year old son. Im looking for insight in regards to a Custody battle with my 10 year old sons father. His father and I have had a Rocky relationship due to his Irresponsibilty with my son. He frequently goes through women about 3-4 months at a time, living situation is always erratic, is always borrowing cars or going through different cars at least 3 times a year, had little concern for a good relationship with my son until the age of 5 and half. We have never gone to court but we made verbal arrangements that he would be able to have his son every other weekend. Many times he had my son on his weekends and I had found out later that his girlfriend was taking care of my son whom I hadn't even met.
He recently got married to a girl that he met online and Married her after only knowing for 2 months. He married her without even introducing her to my son or letting my son know that he was getting married. His new wife was divorced and has 2 children of her own. Not once did he let me or my son know that he was getting married and moving locations to live with her and her sons. My son was in shock that he had never even met this girl. Granted, this is 4 months after he told my son he was going to marry the last girl he was dating. The last time my son was with him on his weekend, my son told me that his father left him at the house with his new step mom who slept all day and didn't even check up on him because she works nights. I was Furious!
Many times he would show up unannounced hours before he was suppose to pick up his son, or he would show up hours late. Then when he was suppose to bring him home at 5pm, he would show up unannounced at 3pm. thinking that my parents would be there to watch him and that it was OK just to leave him.
2 weeks ago, I get a text saying I have to be in court in 2 hours for an Emergency Hearing from him. I was unaware if it was true or if he was just trying to scare me with something, granted this is an hour before Im suppose to pick up my son from school and 2 hours before Im suppose to be at work. Luckily I made it to court on time, I was able to have my parents pick up my son from school and I didn't lose my job. The judge asked him what was such an emergency. He said, "My sons Mother is keeping me from having a good relationship with my son." Judge said, Thats not an emergency, go to Mediation. So mediation was the following day. I was still in shock at what was going on and had to cancel another day of work and make new plans for my sons school schedule.
Father requested 2,2,3 schedule but I still don't feel that he is responsible enough to properly care for my child, so I only agreed on same every other weekend but added every Sunday in which he has to take him to school on Monday mornings. Which he barely got my son to school on time the following Sunday. A Custody court date was also scheduled for 1 month after.

Is it possible to change our agreement and for me to file for full Custody?
In doing all my court research and gathering all my journal documents from past incidents with him. I have also got affidavits from some of his ex girlfriends that state when they met him he lied about his occupation and was actually unemployed, took advantage of them for living situations, and left them to take care of his son on his weekends. A few had also witnessed him hit my son. Problem is, Im not sure the judge will even let me submit Affidavits from his past ex's.
Now he is constantly calling my mothers house to talk to his son, 3x a day, when my son is at the point of getting frustrated everytime he calls. I have asked him when he wants to talk to my son he calls me directly and not my parents phone, we currently live with my parents who are seniors. He says he has every right to know what is going on with his son at all times. He is also asking to see his son earlier then the agreed upon time at the Mediation in which I refused. Myself I feel like his constant calls is Harassment and would like to Full Custody.

Any insight would be greatly appreciated.


Jodi - posted on 02/07/2015




It sounds like time to talk to a lawyer and get proper court orders in place that specify when he sees his son, when he may call and chat to his son (he does have a right to that, but 3 times a day is excessive), and so on. If he is married to this woman, you most likely won't be able to say she can't stay with him without your husband being there. Sleeping while a 10 year old is in your house is not a crime. How dad went about introducing his new family, however, is pretty bad.

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