Cheating partner

Sonia - posted on 06/24/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )




I am 38 yrs old,married my college sweetheart after 2 years of courtship.have 2 daughters aged 6 and 3.5yrs.have been married for 14 yrs,known each other for 16yrs.caught my husband exchanging whatsapp msg with some girl who is. 15 yrs his junior, he had hired her in his company and later she quit for another job but not before pursuing him for a relationship knowing fully well that he was married with children. The moment he realized I have learnt about this he has come clean about what was going on.he has been extremely apologetic and has sobbed like a baby and has been aplogising every minute and asking for forgiveness.he is assuring me that he will never let this happen again.i am extremely traumatized,heartbroken,depressed,feeling unloved,unwanted and disrespected.he said he got into it for fun, he felt flattered that someone found him attractive and was pursuing him endlessly.he says he was very sure that it would have been a purely sexual affair and was not looking at a long term relationship as he knew she would go back to her city eventually to get married.the fact that he has been cheating on me for about 10 months with full knowledge of what he is doing but still wanted to continue the affair as I had no wind of it wants to make me kill myself.i love him a lot, we have had the best sex of lives every time he has tried to comfort me,he says it is over his dead body we can part ways and he sincerely wants to make this work.i am quite attractive,on good shape,well spoken , well turned out, groomed and doing reasonably well for myself.i know he sincerely regrets it and I love him a lot and would not want to let this go this easily, but my sane mind tells him to teach him a lesson- part ways with him or sleep with other men.there are lots of guys interested in me,I am in very good shape after two children and get propositioned by men very often but I have always been loyal to h and my family.pls help


Allison - posted on 06/24/2014




Hi Sonia:

I was married for 30 years with my husband since I'm 16 years old. I am now 52. We had five children together, one was a disabled child. My husband passed away in January at age 53 from leukemia. Without getting into all the particulars, I know where you are coming from. For many years I spent my life mistrusting him and feeling like I had to look over my shoulder. In hind sight, what he did was horrible but I now understand that things can happen. We are not perfect humans. Life gets messy sometimes. Attractions can come and go, but love lasts forever. I believe when someone is your true soulmate and shared an intimate bond with you and they break that trust it can be very upsetting and something that you might not be able to forgive easily. However, you have to look at the whole picture. Unfortunately, I was too late to realize this. It is very hard to keep a long term relationship going. Sometimes we can just make poor judgement calls or sometimes in life we just want something different. I don't know, I'm not perfect either. But if you truly love him and want this to work ultimately for the kid's sake, let it go. Take him back and move on. In the scheme of things, it's just not worth the hassle or the mental effort to harp on it. Life is short. Live each day like it's your last with him and the kids. If he does it again, then decisions will have to be made, but if it was just this one time, just try and move past it. However, make him work really hard and flaunt that body of yours and let him think you are the shit and everyone knows it!!! Enjoy life, you are it the best you can.

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