child refuses to eat

Lorielle - posted on 04/02/2013 ( 5 moms have responded )




when I moved into my boyfriends house his 7year old refused to eat any vegetables other then corn and refused to eat anything that had vegges now that he is 9 he has started to refusing to eat even corn and other food unless it happens to be what he wants. we have tried forcing him to eat what we fix and he just sits there until bed. we have tried to refuse to give him anything else until he eats what is given and he would rather go hungry, we have tried not making him eat and he just waits until we go to bed and gets into what ever he wants. we don't know what to do anymore we have tried every thing short of letting him refuse to eat food until he end up into the hospital. please help


Kristi - posted on 04/03/2013




How does he behave at breakfast and lunch and at school at lunch?

Did he start refusing veggies after you arrived or was that an on-going problem?

This is obviously a control issue. I'm wondering if he is controlling his food intake because he feels like that is the only thing he can control or if he is basically pushing the envelope for future reference and might have a little ODD going on.

I went through something similar with my first husband and one of his daughters. I'll spare you all the drama. Our therapist told us, basically what Sallie was saying regarding the we love you, you need nutrition, this is what's going to happen, etc. However, she said, if M came to us after dinner and at least 20 minutes before bedtime (as not to be able to now manipulate that) and said she was hungry, we should offer her an apple or banana, fruit or a raw veggie and some dip or one of those nutrition drinks for people who are not getting the necessary vitamins and minerals during daily meals.

She said that people are like animals in that we will eat when our body tells us to before it shuts down, unless there is a more serious problem, like ODD or anorexia or bulimia, at hand. Or to put it crudely, it's supposed to separate the men from the boys. Either way though, something is seriously upsetting this kid and it's not about the food anymore (if even ever was). I strongly urge you to seek professional help, if nothing else, talk to his pediatrician.

I wish you the very best!


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Lorielle - posted on 04/03/2013




the child was doing this before I moved in it just has gotten worse since. it doesn't help that his mother spoils him and give him his way when he is over there rather then deal with him but his father doesn't do this. his mother refuses to work with his dad and insist that nothing is wrong.

Sallie Ben - posted on 04/02/2013




Wait a guys can take control of this. You don't even need to discuss it with him. You need to get a lock on the refrigerator (yes, a chain and padlock) and find some way to lock up the pantry. You calmly put the food in front of him the first time you are going to do this and tell him that you have made an error letting this get out of hand and that you are going to do all that you can to make sure that he gets the nutrition he needs because you love him. Say it once and then and don't say another word about it. Finish your meal, put everything away and lock it up. Don't make him sit there after the meal (although he needs to sit there during the meal) but the food is over. He gets what is offered at meal times and then there is a strict no-food policy.

You will have to repeat your policy to him when he comes screaming and whining for food. We love you, and it is our job to make sure you get the nutrition you need.

You will have to be super tough but it it will work. Call your pediatrician if you like, call the school counselor, get busy with this kid. If he is controlling the food situation at home he is going to start running over you guys on other stuff, too.

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