claiming pain to get sympathy

Anna - posted on 04/19/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )




wondering if any other mums have gone through/are going through this, cos i just dont know what to do! recently my daughter of 2.5yrs has started pulling the sympathy card. if i tell her off, tell her to do something she doesnt want to do or even talk to her in a stern voice she will look at me with those big eyes and say "pain...lella pain" even when i have seen plain as day that nothing has happened and she cant be hurt! she just wants me to not be angry/not put her in time out/not make her do what she doesnt want to do and give her cuddles instead. if i say "thats enough. no cuddles, i know you are not hurting" she will go to the closest hard object and hit her hand/foot/head against it as if to say "oh arent i?!" and its a hard pain causing whack too! im lost on what to do...i tried putting her in time out when she did it, but all i could hear was her hitting her head against the toy box. i know its a total attention grabber, but its not good and its behaviour i want to stop. ideas anyone?!


Louise - posted on 04/19/2012




Its hard but ignore her if she delberately hurts herself. Do not cuddle her or give her eye contact in fact completely ignore her. She is using your emotions to control you and if you let her get the better of you now your in trouble in years to come. Children learn very early how to push our buttons. Stick to telling her off, if she deliberately hurts herself then just say that is very silly and continue doing what you were doing. She will try this several times before she gets the message that mummy is not going to fall for that one!

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