Competition between Moms

Sarah - posted on 03/14/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )




Just a pet peeve of mine, but it really bothers me the unsaid competition between parents. If your child is an early walker/talker/potty trainer, etc. it does not mean you're a better parent than someone whose child does those things later. It's not that you aren't allowed to be proud of your children, but watch how you "brag" about your child and the words you use, because for those people whose children are a little slower at achieving these milestones, it can leave them worried, stressed, and embarrassed as if they did something wrong. Also remember, physical development has nothing to do with intelligence, just because your kid walked early doesn't make him an Einstein. I just hope parents can realize that all children develop at different rates and in their own time. Every child is special and unique in their own way. Please Moms, stop this stupid "competition" that seems to be so rampant wherever you go!


View replies by

Sarah - posted on 03/14/2012




It's more the comments like, "Oh, you're daughter's 18 months and not walking yet (smirk, look down nose), my son was walking at 9 months (big proud smile)."

I usually respond to comments like this by saying, "well, my daughter had multiple medical issues and had surgery a week before she turned one so she was too busy focusing on surviving than to practice walking." (all true). Really though, this goes on with anything, potty training, walking, talking, etc. It just bothers me. It's one thing to be proud of your children, but it's a total other thing to put down someone else's child in the progress.

Elfrieda - posted on 03/14/2012




I think it helps take away the competitive aspect if your child is obviously not following the milestone chart. At least, when I saw that my son was way ahead in the "stacking blocks and doing puzzles" area, I was really proud, and when he didn't walk until he was 17 months, I was really worried. Now I realize that meh, kids are all different.

S. - posted on 03/14/2012




It will always go on who ever and wherever you are but the fact of it is they all do it all in the end anyway! What I'v learnt is if the child is fast at one thing they usually balance it out with not been at fast with another thing, all 3 of mine have progressed at different paces yet all achived the same thing in the end, my middle child was super fast at everything were as my youngest is happy plodding on getting there nicely, my youngest and a friends child are the same age were as hers is fast at everything the friend n her husband often has conversations how quick her child is but I don't rise I'm not going down the path of "my kids better then yours" you just have to learn to ignore I'm afraid also some people wont mean to offend for example (and a silly one i know) I "brag" that my oldest girl is a great dancer all the time. Should I not express how proud I am just in case?

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms