concerned and confused

Concerned - posted on 05/03/2015 ( 4 moms have responded )




I have been with my bf for a little over a year.
He has two kids outside our relationship who are a bit older then my 3year old daughter. For some reason.. It seems as tho he has taken quite a temper with her.. She acts out in stores and when she doesn't get her way. I get that. Terrible twos and terrifying threes.. But. He has slapped her in the mouth before for spitting.. And now slapped her in the mouth for sticking her tongue out. She's 3.. I know she can get out of hand but I feel if you really want to be helpful or raise her. Put her in the corner.. Talk to her firmly if you need to.. But slapping a child who isn't yours seems obsessive to me. Her father is still in her life but he spoils her so much that discipline seems to only come from my side. Should I be upset? Is he trying to help and I'm being sensitive? What's a better why to take? I'm concerned and confused..... Help!?!?!?


View replies by

Raye - posted on 05/04/2015




You are the parent of that child, and you should be the one disciplining her. No significant other should ever lay a hand on a child that is not their own. And no parent should slap their kid in the face. If he feels he has to slap a 3 y/o, then something's wrong with him.

You need to sit down with your BF and get on the same page with parenting. The SO should follow the natural parent's guidelines when helping raise the child. The SO should not contradict the NP in front of the child, but should be able to give suggestions or disagree with something *in private* where you can discuss it. The NP should carry out most punishments, with the SO to have limited ability to negate a situation while it's happening if the NP is not there (such as taking toys away or sending the child to their room). What he does with his own kids is his responsibility, but it would be helpful (if his kids are spending time at your house) to try to be fairly consistent with all the kids... and not hitting them is a good start.

Yesenia - posted on 05/03/2015




First you should in my opinion lay down the line of someone else hitting your daughter period your the mother and you have every right to discipline your child in the right manner not by hitting them but in a calm manner. Respect your child and don't let anyone hit her but also explain and set rules for her

Jodi - posted on 05/03/2015




I'm sorry, but hitting a kid in the face, any kid, any age, is abuse. Never, EVER hit a kid around the head. Personally, I'm not into the whole spanking thing anyway, but even slapping a child in the mouth who IS yours is totally out of line. I'd be very, very concerned. I'd be reconsidering the relationship. This is not discipline.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms