Crazy baby daddy

[deleted account] ( 1 mom has responded )

So I dated a guy for 3 months before I ended up getting pregnant. Once we found out i was pregnant he started saying he was going to hurt himself everyday if I wouldn't text or call him back to the point I had to call the police. After that we broke up for a few months then when I found out i was having a boy I let him know and we ended up back together. As soon as my son was born he said in the hosptial he will make sure he gets his baby. We are not together. I have evidence of him smoking pot. He also has that police report on him. He tells me everyday he's taking me to court for half cus. He doesn't pay child support and I don't make him bc id rather him out of my sons life. He is very unstable and I am just wondering if I tell the court all the things he has done will they give him half cus or no custody at all? Please help.


Jodi - posted on 01/09/2014




First up, custody and child support are two totally separate issues. He can legally get visitation even if he doesn't pay child support. Basically, a child is not a commodity and should be held for ransom money, and by not allowing visitation just because the father is an asshole and doesn't pay this is what you are doing.

Secondly, the father is perfectly entitled to some form of custody/visitation. What he gets will depend on where you live, the arguments you both present and any evidence backing up those statements. Just "telling" the court what he has done is not going to cut it because it is only your hearsay, and actually, could come across as sounding like sour grapes. You need documented evidence.

Finally, it is highly unlikely he would be given no custody at all. He does not ever have appeared to harm your child. Nothing you have said tells me he will be a bad father. Instability isn't a good enough reason - plenty of homes are unstable. At absolute worst, he will get supervised visitation of some sort. You don't have the option of cutting him out of your child's life.

Here's the thing, you chose this man to have a child with. He was good enough for that. You can't now turn around and say you don't want him as a father to your child. It's too late for that.

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