Crib Sleeping

Kimberly - posted on 01/06/2010 ( 8 moms have responded )

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I need advice on getting Billy (9 mos) to start sleeping in his crib. I love co-sleeping but he is starting to toss and turn constantly and I get even less sleep than usual. He hates his crib! Keep in mind that he wakes up 2-3 times a night still for a bottle, diaper changing or to let out some steam (if you know what I mean). I spoke with his doctor and she told me to just put him in there and let him cry (for up to an hour), yeah crying that long is not an option for me! She also said that he shouldn't be waking in the middle of the night anymore. What am I doing wrong????? Ugggh, I need HELPPPP! Thanks :)

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Anna - posted on 01/06/2010

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You are not doing anything wrong ... seriously, I don't think your doctor is keeping up with the current research on baby development. It has been proven in plenty of studies that it is physically and psychologically harmful to leave a baby to cry. I would change doctors if mine gave such bad information. Sometimes doctors will just give you there own opinions, you know. They are experts in drugs and diseases but they actually don't get trained in parenting, so trust your own instincts.
It is not at all unusual for a 9 month old to still be waking in the night - from what I have read, it's about 70% who still need to feed at night for their first year. My son started sleeping through the night about the time of his 1st birthday, but he will still wake to nurse if he is teething or unwell. We are still co-sleeping but we also have a small bed next to ours that I am going to start putting him in for naps, and then gradually start shifting him there full time. I think I'll let him fall asleep in my bed and then move him over. Make the change slowly and gently.

The book 'the no-cry sleep solution' by Elizabeth Pantley is really good. There's also one called 'the science of parenting', I forget the author, but your doc should probably read it :) Also, 'gentle birth, gentle mothering' by Dr Sarah Buckley.

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Some babies just take longer than others to sleep through the night. Perhaps according to his age/weight he "should" be sleeping through the night-but that's like when they "should" get teeth, or start walking, or whatever. They do it when they're ready-and unless there's a big delay on something or you have a bad feeling about it there's probably little cause for concern. As far as crib sleeping-my son was in the NICU because he was a preemie, so he was used to sleeping on his own. However, he was used to noise and warmth, so we always made sure (and still do) that he had on warm footie pajamas and some music-he also did better with a little bit of light. I guess maybe it was just that we tried to make his room as much like what he was accustomed to as possible so as to ease him into the transition. I know you can't climb in the crib with him...lol...But maybe rocking him until he's drowsy then putting him down and rubbing his back once he's in the crib so he'll stay calm...Try the music because (especially if one of you snores) he may be used to a bit of noise)....I'm not really sure what else, though. Hopefully another mom who has been there can give you a few ideas. =)

Chelsea - posted on 01/07/2010

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at least start with naps, and make it dark in there when he's is in there during the day so he can get use to being in the dark by himself while asleep. then when he gets use it more and more try a night to begin, and when he wakes up for a bottle let him have one in there till he falls asleep then take it out. can he talk yet? i saw on super nanny, when its bed time, place him in there, and say "bed time darling" just that, when he wakes up 2nd to 3rd time say same thing, anyother time after it say nothing and just keep putting h im in bed to sleep. she does it every episode because everyfamily has atleast one child that wont sleep in their bed, and it works! good luck!

Sarah - posted on 01/07/2010

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I like this book for its advice on sleep issues: Elizabeth Pantley - No Cry Sleep Solution

Lise - posted on 01/06/2010

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Good for you for not listening to your doctor when she suggests crying it out! (I'm very against CIO in case you couldn't tell.) There are studies saying it's harmful... I've had luck with 2 things. 1) Putting my LO in there during the day to play so the crib is a good place (she used to scream the second she was put down); now she likes playing in there a little during the day, and 2) rocking her until she was asleep, nursing her, then slowly laying her down in the crib. She slept once for 45 minutes (she's 2.5 mo and cosleeps, so it was big for us), and when she woke she just looked around until I checked on her. Good luck! I've heard good things, too, about the No Cry Sleep Solution book.

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Dena - posted on 01/06/2010

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It sucks but your doctor is right! My little girl didn't stop waking up for a bottle in the middle of the night till she was a year, but it was only once at 3 and then at 6. If you can't handle the crying then try laying with him till he is just about to dose off then put him in the crib....I heard that helps with the transition. Oh and I don't think he hates his crib. Babies strive on routine and his routine was laying with you--- you just have to change that up.

Emma - posted on 01/06/2010

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First off, you are not doing anything wrong and not all babies will sleep through the night during the first year. My niece was still waking up during the night, only once for a bottle or whatever til she was almost 2, but for her she was a snacker and was not taking in enough during the day to sustain her all night.

Get your son re-acquainted with the crib. Let him sit in it, lay in it with you of course praising him for being in there. I have heard wonders about the PUPD method mentioned by Liz and I am self will soon be starting that with my son, he's 6.5 months now. I have the book and have read through it but my son is teething right now so I don't think I could do that right now, but will start with his naps soon and then with his bed time. Start small, like with naps and then move onto bedtime. It will take some time but in the end your boy will get used to the idea of sleeping on his own.

Liz - posted on 01/06/2010

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The doc is right that your son shouldn't be waking up in the middle of the night for a feeding, maybe you need to feed him more during the day and that's why he wakes up hungry. As for the crib suggestions, I read "The Baby Whisperer" and they have a method called PUPD (pick up put down) its really tough at first bc basically what you do is pick up your son and as soon as he stops you put him back down. he cries again, you pick him up, he stops, you put him down. The first night you try this out it can take hours, so be patient. But I really enjoyed the book and it also gives advice about sleeping, eating, potty training, etc etc etc

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