Crying, every day crying.

Anca Letitia - posted on 06/14/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )




My daughter of 4 years old is crying for anything she wants, if i say no.Drives me crazy, I am powerless.An example:She has her meals time which i try to keep up.When i call her to eat she is saying:but i didn´t play yet.I answer:O.K. , you can play only five more minutes and them you have to come to eat.It dosen´t work, she will start to cry.She is using crying for anything she want.I have 44 years old and she wants me to play with her at all the time.At the moment i am unemployed and my husband works nights. Most of time.I have no social help and i am trying to get employed since nine month.She is taking me over, i love , she is so sweet and cute, but is exausting , especially when you are alone and trying to get a job.Sometimes is feel depressed and so lonely.


Amy - posted on 06/14/2012




Your not powerless, you just think you are. Maybe instead of saying its time to eat and them giving her an extra 5 minutes, reverse it give her a countdown. Say "we're going to eat in 5 minutes", and then give her a follow up 2 minute and 1 minute warning. If she starts crying ignore it, just continue on, when time is up she has to sit down and eat, if she doesn't want to then tell her she doesn't have to but she's still going to have to sit with you while you eat.

My 2 year old cries when she wants something, if she's not listening I calmly tell her I don't understand what she's saying, she's not going to get anything while crying. Once she settles down if it's reasonable she may get what she wanted but she doesn't get it while crying.


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Alison - posted on 06/14/2012




Amy stole my advice. ;) Give her the 5 minute warning and stop negotiating with her.

Set up a schedule that includes time for you to play with her and time for her to play alone.

If you really are depressed, it will be much harder for you to stand up to your daughter's manipulation. Try to see a doctor, a nurse, a social worker, etc.

Be the mama! :D

[deleted account]

Now that you know the "5 more minutes" will not help her not to cry, Stop giving in to her. She is going to cry, let her cry. Stop responding to her crying. Walk the other direction and away from her when she cries.

At 44 your patience is not what it would have been at 24. This is not bad, just different and she will have to learn to get your attention another way. She is also old enough to use her words. If something hurts, tell mommy. If you are sad, tell mommy. Mommy can't fix it if mommy doesn't know what is wrong. Sit down with her and tell her that mommy doesn't like the crying all the time and will soon start to cry herself if _______ doesn't stop and use her words.

Yes, she is sweet, but don't look at her all the time with those eyes, she will stop being cute if she gets her own way all the time by crying. Use a bit of a firmer hand with her and she will be a cute kid, but also a beautiful young woman.

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