curfew

Monique - posted on 04/19/2015 ( 16 moms have responded )

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I'm not sure what time I should make my 11 year old daughter come in the house if she's just playing outside with her friends?

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Monique - posted on 04/19/2015

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Thank you so much guys for such positive feedback, it really helps me out with my parenting skills. I guess when you're brought up a certain way you sometimes tend to carry on how you were raised. I just remember when I was younger, there were no boundaries set. I could stay out til about 11 o'clock at night or later and my mom never really made time a big deal. I'll never forget me and a few friends snuck off the block one night trying to catch the arcade before they closed, by the time we got around the corner there was a police officer telling us he was taking us to the police station for curfew, boy oh boy we were so frantic, we were finger printed and everything but guess what, that was the last time we ever did that. We stayed on the block, and on the porch from that day forth and if we saw a police car riding down the block when we knew we wasn't supposed to be outside. We would run in the house.

Ledia - posted on 04/19/2015

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We all screw up--I know I've done my fair share!
To make it easier on her, make sure she has a good reason to come in. If you call her in, and all she has to do is watch TV or play video games by herself, she will be resentful that you called her in early--she won't understand why you did it, even if you talk until you are blue in the face. When you call her in, do something fun with her first--play a board game or video game with her, or watch a TV show that you both might enjoy together, then have her complete a list of before bedtime chores.

This is our schedule, My son gets home from school about 3:15 and does homework until 4:30 or 5pm. He can then play until dinner is ready--usually 6-6:30pm. After dinner, we go to guitar or baseball practice, do something together as a family (like a walk or bike ride, board game, whatever) or, if he is behind on homework or struggling with a subject at school, a little extra study. At 8:30 or 9pm, he showers, packs his lunch for the next day, and makes sure he has everything he will need tomorrow, set out, packed up, and organized. By 9:30, he is ready for bed. He knows that if he stays out playing too late, that it will throw off the whole evening and everyone will be stressed out and in a bad mood, plus, it is likely he will forget something he needs for the next day.

Monique - posted on 04/19/2015

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Thank you I really appreciate you for what you have said. Have a blessed day! I really needed your honesty.

Monique - posted on 04/19/2015

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Well thank you so very much. I will definitely have to make some major changes. I've let this go on for too long. I feel like such an awful parent, that's why I've joined this circle of mom's for help because I think I've been being defeated for so long now.

Monique - posted on 04/19/2015

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Thank you so much for your opinion, so now I have to make some big changes that my daughter's not going to like. I'm so used to being the easy going mom, so I guess it's going to take a lot for me to even make her come in earlier since I've been doing this for so long.

Ledia - posted on 04/19/2015

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My son is 10, so kind of close. Our rule is Dinner time. Before dinner is for play, after dinner is for family. We usually eat dinner about 6pm.
10pm is insane for that age, imo... My son's bedtime is 9:30 on weekdays, and 10pm on weekends IF we do not have anything important going on. If I let him play until 10pm, he'd not be in bed until 11pm at the earliest, and be a mess the next day. Letting bedtime vary too much on the weekends can lead to disruption in sleep patterns that can affect the child during the work week, so we try to keep it consistent on weekends and weekdays.

Monique - posted on 04/19/2015

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I just thought if she was sitting on the front steps or sitting just next door at my neighbors house. I thought it was ok.

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