custody/visitation battle- please help.

Eve - posted on 05/07/2016 ( 2 moms have responded )




Hello, wondering if anyone has any advice or knowledge they can lend concerning my predicament. i have a one month old baby and i am going next month in front of a judge to determine custody and visitation with my husband the father. we have not been together since august because he left me when i was 7 weeks pregnant and was not around for the pregnancy. now he wants 50/50 custody. what are his chances? would a judge grant this for an infant breastfeeding? i told him i could commit to every other weekend and one day a week for now and whenever else he wants to visit to text me to see if we are available. he did not ike that idea. i have been in counseling for 6 months to deal with mental and emotional abuse from this guy and am finding it harder and harder to compromise with him. any suggestions?


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Sarah - posted on 05/07/2016




It's nice to hear that you are open to a full shared parenting agreement. I do think that since the AAP advises nursing for infants, that you will probably be given custody until you have fully established your milk supply, are able to pump and maintain said supply. However, since formula is medically acceptable, a judge may find that the father can choose to feed formula. Getting a smart lawyer is a good place to start and negotiate with him rather than duke it out in court.

Dove - posted on 05/07/2016




Get a good lawyer who knows the ins and outs of the laws in your state as far as breastfeeding and visitation goes. If you are willing and able to do overnights.. that must mean you are pumping and your baby takes a bottle. Which means there is no 'logical' reason to restrict visitations.

He is entitled to 50/50 just as much as you are. NOW... that doesn't mean he will get 50/50 right off the bat (but will possibly work up to that in a couple years time). In some areas you can push for no overnight visitations w/ a breastfed infant under a year (and some til a bit older if they are still night nursing)... and in some areas the judge won't care and will tell a person to pump or send formula.

The only thing you can do is get a lawyer willing to research (or that already has knowledge of) how it generally works in your area and go w/ that.

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