Daughter who I love so much has dicided not to want me in her life

Belinda - posted on 08/06/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )




My daughter is nineteen and lives with her boyfriend ....... When they first met she was in my life ,and we would go out shopping together have lunch and do what mothers and daughters do we laughed so much together , UNTILL she met this guy who seemed really nice as I have met him ,,,,but slowly she changed and became really moody and upset every time she spoke to him on the phone ...well as a mother I thought I was doing the right thing and had a moan at him .... Well she then went the other way and started to ignore me UNTILL she said she did not want me in her life ....I was heart broken ... I tried ringing her to see if we could meet up and talk about the situation but she said there was nothing to talk about ....then she did meet me with her boyfriend to tell me she was having a baby ...I laughed and cried at the same time ....she then told her dad who I divorced some time ago ,he went mad at her and said she was to have an abortion which I did not agree with ...any way he did not want to see her anymore .....she then became very muddled and found she could not make her mind up what she wanted to do .... I have really tried to keep in touch with her but she kept tebblling me to go away and leave her alone which I have now .... As it hurt so much ,,, I do love her very much and hope she wants me back in her life agian soon ... Just don't no what I have done to deserve this treatment from her ...all the advice I have given her has fallen on deaf doors ..... I am coping without her at the moment but not seeing her or being in her life has left me heart broken ..... My life is a waiting game ..... Love my Leanne jo Barnes soooooo much xxxx she then sadly went on to have a miscarriage ...so I no she has been through so much in her little life ... She is a very caring woman and would always put herself last and her boyfriend would always make demands from her that is why she cried most times ...I feel he has total control over her ...I no she has to learn life for herself ...and I have let her go for the time being in the hope she will realise that her mum will always love her .xxxx


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Sara - posted on 08/06/2013




That would be very hard, I am sorry. I think eventually she is very likely to be in your life again. You have been kind but persistent, and as long as you tell you love her, miss her and when she's ready you'll be there then all that us left to do is wait.

Laurie - posted on 08/06/2013




Hi Belinda, I have experienced something similar with my son,but he was a little younger. Our family went through some turbulent times and it was chaos in our home. It changed my children. They began to get in destructive relationships, like dating warped people in order to fix them. That is a typical response of
wounded children in broken homes or turbulent home lives. She is an adult true, but she also has much unfinished emotional business that needs to be acknowledged by her and you could help in that. I am very sorry that her father chooses not to love her unconditionally, he misses out on many blessings. Unless she realizes that she can not fix anyone she will continue to be in warped relationships. What does she believe? Does she believe that she is deserving of real love with boundaries and respect? If not, why not? Ask her. What do you believe about yourself? She sees you as a role model, if you need to get healing yourself you will be in a better position to lead and love your daughter. Divorce is brutal for everyone involved, the rejection felt is devastating.
I beg you get the truth. You are valuable to the God who made you and loves you, and wants you healed and whole through His son Jesus Christ, once you know this truth .... your joy will spill out to your precious valuable daughter! I will pray for you and her.

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