Dead beat ex boyfriend! How do I keep him away from the life of my babies?

MJ - posted on 01/12/2013 ( 5 moms have responded )




This is a long story, but I will try to make it as short as possible. My boyfriend denied that he is the father to my baby the moment I found out and told him. I have tried in all ways possible for him to accept responsibility, but he just kept building stories, horrible stories, even to a point he claimed he is a married man.

I dug into his past, and I found out that he's been married 3 times without a divorce (this I didn't know). Also, I found out that he's addicted to pot.

I am a very stand up person and there are very few things I allow people to make excuse for. I am really cool with the fact that he denied the pregnancy, but I won't be cool with him coming back to contact his kids, whenever he wants. Yes I said kids now, because I found out I am expecting twins. I am financially stable and blessed with a large family who are willing to support me if I hit some hard times.They convinced me to keep the pregnancy. I remember mentioning I don't want babies now, and one of them even volunteered to adopt the kids when they come, My family loves children and growing up, I can't even count how many homeless or less fortunate kids my mom took in. So why must I throw mine away, at the age of 33 and my first pregnancy?

My question is this. How can I stop this guy from ever getting in contact with this children in the future? I already tried to get him sign up his parental rights, but he refused. I haven't spoken to him since after he told me to go look for another father for my children and that I will never be the mother of his children. He's a bad influence when it comes to life in general and I don't want a person like that to be part of my life, nor share a child with. My only thought is to disappear, but I want something legal.
Any help will be appreciated


Jodi - posted on 01/12/2013




"He already walked out! I just want to keep that door shut!!"

He walked out of YOUR life. But that doesn't necessarily mean he is walking out of the children's lives. If he doesn't wish to sign away his rights, and wishes to be a part of his children's lives, as the others have said, there isn't much you can do. It is highly likely the courts will grant him visitation of some sort.

Just remember, the children have a right to a relationship with both parents too, and unless he is in some way causing those children harm or is neglecting them or abusing them, if he seeks that relationship, there is little you can do.


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Ariana - posted on 01/12/2013




If he's unwilling to sign over his rights there isn't much you can do. The best thing to do is to stay away from contacting him. He already said you need to go look for another father for your children etc. so you should just try to stay out of his mind as much as possible. If you contact him when you've had the kids it will make him start thinking of them and how he wants to be involved.

If he at some point decides to start a court proceeding or says he's going to you should find a mediator and try to get him to agree to supervised visitation or very limited visitation. Otherwise a court can decide what they want to do and you may be unhappy about it.

If he won't sign over his rights he won't, nothing to be done but hope he doesn't pursue legal action and try to stay away from him.

MJ - posted on 01/12/2013




Thanks for responding Patricia. I was on birth control which failed. Ok are you telling me this man is free to walk into my children's life when he wants and walk out again? I don't want to be that kind of person and imagine the emotional stress it will put these children through! I don't want child support, because I know I will go through a whole lot of drama getting that! Don't get me wrong, he's a working man has a good job, but just a little bit of a psychopath who think nothing is wrong with child porn! Trust me, if one could click their fingers for someone to just disappear off the face of the earth, I would have done that! Sometimes, people are not what they appear to be unless you get close to them. I blame myself a lot for this, but I want to give my children a good and happy life. He already walked out! I just want to keep that door shut!!

Patricia Ann - posted on 01/12/2013




tHIS IS ONLY MY OPINION,you say you didnt want babies now but you have become pregnant,where you on birth control when you got pregnant,or you were not on birth should keep the babies and let the family help you ...The babies cant help who their father is but make him go through the courts ,because he does have rights to the children if he wants it untill he dosent keep up on the familly plan through the courts then you can get full custody.....if he want to deny them ,proof is in the pudding through dna so there that is but if he want to deny them and dosent want to be in there life then ok let it be that way ,he can pay child support.....if you dont want him in their life then ,you will have to do that the legal way as i mentioned up top .you have a great family,money, love then go with that,

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