Deadbeat Fathers/Substitute Fathers

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Giselle - posted on 06/13/2012




You have to date when you're ready and you will know when you are. As far as the kids introduce a man when you know for sure how you feel about him. However make sure you find out when you first start dating if you see it going somewhere how he feels about you having and child and how he feels about kids in general so you don't waste your time.

Kimberly - posted on 07/06/2010




Jennifer, I love that idea! Like a jungle, see if he makes it through the night!

Teresa, it sounds to me like you've already found the right man. I think you owe it to yourself to take a chance. Even if things don't work out, I can't imagine anyone being able to cut children out of their lives!

Kim, I definitely have felt ready for a long time. I was with my ex for far too long, and put up with way too much. I'm in a similar situation to Teresa actually...

Kim - posted on 07/05/2010




its not the length that is the biggest problem its the quality of man. its more if you are ready than if your kids are ready. work on yourself and then you will have a better chance of finding the best possible man to be in your and your childrens lives. i dont know if you are religious but a really good book to read is love, sex, and lasting relationships. gives you the best tips on these 3 things with a twist of christian life in there.

[deleted account]

Well, I've been single for 2 years and am just now kind of, sort of, almost starting to date someone. Our situation is slightly different in circumstances since my kids met/knew him first.... and already completely adore him (BEFORE I was even interested).

I am actually extremely freaked out and considering not dating him to ensure that my kids can remain friends w/ him.... but I like him a lot and am having feelings that I thought I would never have again after the emotional number my ex did on me.

Jennifer - posted on 07/05/2010




I think it's different for each of us how long u should wait b4 u date. For some of us our marriage was over long b4 the divorce & dating comes sooner bc u have already adjusted emotionally to an extent. For others we are blindsided and it takes a little longer. As far as the kids go I decided that I didnt want them meeting a date (mine r young 6&8) I need to have a lot of faith in him first. So far that hasn't happened for me. I just feel like my kids have lost enough already with their daddy leaving & they get along with people easily. I am afraid if some man meets them 2 soon & he leaves they will worry that its because of them. I want any man I date to understand that my kids are number one & my life is crazy (sometimes good & sometimes just crazy). I am good with a man knowing I can wear a skirt & smile that smile but I also wear jogging pants and wear ball caps. I figure when I find one that is mature enough to handle my REAL LIFE and worthy enough to meet my girls I will just know. Many men dont want to meet the kids right off anyways... they wanna kinda get to know u first. I just think when the time is right it will fall into place. But so u know I dont know anything. My friends and I joke that we should take any potential date and throw him in the room with all the kids (I usually have lots at my house) and if he survives & comes out with a smile only then is he worthy enough to date. LOL... we r just kidding, I think. :)

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