Dealing with 11 year old stubborness

Angela - posted on 09/28/2015 ( 3 moms have responded )




Hi everyone!! I'm the mother of a beautiful active healthy little 11 year old. I'm a single parent, father isn't involved, grandparents are present but don't really assist me on a day-to-day. She is smart as day, but here comes an issue I'm having. At home she doesn't give me a whole lot of attitude/back talk as she knows it is not allowed in our household. However, school is another issue. She back talks her teachers and i'm not sure what to do. I thought I raised a respectful young lady, but it seems as though she is a totally different kid when i'm not around. Any advice, please!!!!


Ev - posted on 09/28/2015




Schedule an appointment with her teachers, counselor, and principal and talk about the issues that she has at school. The people there not only are there to teach our kids to make them successful in life but are also seeing your child each day and know what she is like and can tell you what they see and hear. Maybe she is picking up things from other kids and using it on the teachers. Maybe there is something bothering her she has not told anyone about such as being bullied. It is possible there is another issue too. Also ask her why she is that way with her teachers and see what she says. Sitting back and doing nothing is not going to get this taken care of.

Jodi - posted on 09/28/2015




Do you have specific consequences at home for if she does talk back to you? If so, then maybe you need specific consequences for if she talks back to her teachers. Also, as Evelyn has said, schedule a meeting with her teachers and work together to agree to some consequences for her behaviour - once she sees that you are all on the same page about her behaviour, she is likely to stop.


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Angela - posted on 09/29/2015




Thank you Evelyn and Jodi, Through more consideration through out the day I decided to schedule a meeting with the teacher she is having problems with as well as the school counselor. We do have consequences at home, which are enforced. This seems to come and go in 4-6 month waves and she is fine in between. I unfortunately feel that due to my military service and multiple deployments this has contributed to her " outbursts". I've decided to halt all extra activities (swim team, TV, etc.) until she can show otherwise. I'm really trying to nip this in the butt before it becomes a bigger problem when she gets older.

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