Dealing with an ex this Christmas...Opinions?

Michelle - posted on 12/16/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )




Hi, normally, my ex tries to give me gifts every major holiday. I don't reciprocate because I don't want to give him the impression that we might reconcile (which he seems to think with any positive interaction I have with him). At the same time, I usually try to tell him "thank you, but no thank you" to his gifts. However, he always makes it a big deal and rather than fight with him in front of the kids, I end up just taking it.

I don't use the gifts. The gifts aren't "bad" or anything, but I feel like taking his gifts is already giving some kind of "hope," if that makes any sense. And if I use the gifts, then it's taking it a step just doesn't feel right to use them.

So here are my questions:
I'm thinking of just donating whatever he has given me to a local charity. That way, even though I'm not using it, it can go to someone who can use it, and I'm not just throwing it away. Anyone have any thoughts about this idea, or other suggestions?

How do I deal with him in future exchanges when he tries to give me things? Should I just make a stand and tell him I don't want his gifts (and potentially, have a "fight" in front of the children), or should I just continue to take the gifts for the sake of the children and keeping the peace?


Jodi - posted on 12/17/2014




Personally, I'd just accept it and move on. It's honestly not something worth making a fuss over. Whether you donate it or use it, I don't think it matters. Just say "Thanks, Merry Christmas to you too" and leave it at that. Maybe eventually if he sees you are not affected by it, either positively OR negatively, he won't bother. But it really isn't worth the energy of thought you have been putting into it.

1 Comment

View replies by

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms