dealing with my boyfriends ex and kids

Kelsi - posted on 05/12/2015 ( 8 moms have responded )

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I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half now. He has 3 kids and isn't legally divorced. ( I have no kids or ever been married) I am still a secret to his kids and his ex just recently found out about me. It hurts so bad I cant meet his kids yet (still has supervised visits) how do I deal with not meeting them yet? And dealing with him seeing his ex at the kids drop off, graduations etc. I never wanted to be with someone with kids for this reason (drama) I just need some guidance, advice! PLEASE

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Kelsi - posted on 05/13/2015

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She said he did awful things to his daughter (she said this for revenge) he would never lay a hand on his child

Kelsi - posted on 05/13/2015

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Thanks everyone for the help!!! I met him before they were divorced he had been wanting to leave her.for a while.. So she made some false accusations so he couldn't see his kids.. We plan to be together for a while.. Its just emotionally so hard knowing she will always be there and have no one to talk too

Raye - posted on 05/13/2015

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I am curious, too, why they are not yet divorced and why his visits are required to be supervised....

I am a step-mom, with no bio-kids of my own. So, my advice is be patient about meeting the kids. I agree with Evelyn, they have a lot going on right now, and they need to get through the divorce and (hopefully) come to terms that their parents won't be getting back together before being introduced to you. They didn't have any say in their parents split or their father finding someone new, so they may have some confusion, resentment, frustration, etc. Take things slow. It will take a lot of patience and understanding, because the kids and their mother will always be in your BF's life, and so will be in your life if you stay with him. But, there are things that are very rewarding, too.

Coralclubozz - posted on 05/12/2015

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relax... if you are happy with your boyfriend (two of you) and it's worth your while to work on the relationship - stay and enjoy it. Kids is a very complex issue (been there). Seeing ex - it's a trust issue. Once again, if you are happy with him stay, if you are not happy with him personally - that's another thing. Kids and ex are PAST (hopefully)

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