delayed children...they're more normal than we think!

[deleted account] ( no moms have responded yet )

I have twospecial boys, one's 21 and struggling to work ,has limited education and can't keep a job very long sometimes suffers from depression, and another 11 who is has a twin, had complications during pregnancy, during delivery, he had multiple prob's, non life threatening but I knew he was going to have difficulties. He had his first seizure at three stopped at five, still don't know what that was about but always all my mind watching for another one. He is beautiful, both boys are blessed with great features, they look a lot alike, 10 yrs. apart but I hope they become great friends one day as adults, my 11yr.old loves school unlike his brother, his set-up is awesome, he's been in Special Ed. since kindergarden, bad thing is he's a 45 min drive away, changes schools every 3-4yrs. Can't seem to find anything for him in our area, so it's a long day for him, he handles it well. He takes Conserta so he doesn't swing from the light fixtures, it helps a great deal, although delaying growth, he's slight, 10lbs. lighter than his twin sister and 2.5inches shorter, but he's healthy and happy. I was so overbearing at first with him, worried all the time, but he's well looked after and happy and the future will work itself out. I lost alot of myself worrying and overthinking things, still do but getting better, here he is enjoying life and what the hell am I doing? I have eight children 5 of my own & 3 step. 5 live with us, 16yr. old off wrecking her life 18 & 21 with their dad doing well. I've always been multi tasking and worrying and trying to control the future in my head, that works well....NOT. My so called delayed child comes to me one day and says "is my sister gonna die out there"? "Are you ok mom? Don't cry" or things like, "if you think you're fat mom then work out, that's all you have to do to fix it." He sees the world in black and white, he's very factual. Sometimes I wish I had his good nature and sense of thinking. A little boy hurt him really bad last spring, he cried most of the night, trying to figure out why this boy pushed him and hurt him when he was happily playing in the school yard. I called the school and the next day my son came home so excited to show me an apology note from the boy, they have been friends ever since, My son forgave something unforgivable and the boy realized the good in him and how he wronged him, he has been protecting my son ever since. I guess what my message to other moms would be is all our children need different things from us, they all have special needs, the ones that all labelled special are more teacher's to us and to others.

His quirk about me? He showers and sings every morning, & before he leaves for school I sit by him and smell his hair, I love how he smells, weird I know! He lets me and says "here we go the smelling mother is here again". I'll miss him when he leaves home but I try to enjoy today :)

Love you my babies.

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