denied as a stepmom. does my husband have 2 families?

Jennifer - posted on 08/30/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )




My husband and I have been together 2 years. When we started our relationship, he had a 1 1/2 year old daughter and another on the way. Both with the same woman. Although they were already split when he and I got together, she blames me for the fall of their family. As of this day, I am refused any sort of relationship with his daughters. The hardest part of this all is that we live in Mexico, while his ex and daughters live in Arizona. He is not a US citizen, therefore must wait for her to bring the girls down in order to see them. When she brings them, he leaves for the day. In the beginning I was more patient, thinking this would change. It has not changed. We now have an 8 month old son together, making it even more difficult. His ex will not allow him to talk from our house phone, she blocked the number, and will not allow him to talk to his daughters while around me. She is constantly making comments about me being a wh*re that broke up the marriage, and my husband being a terrible dad. Neither are true. He doesn't stand up for me or himself. He claims not saying anything will frustrate his ex even more, rather than feed into her. I get that, but I also get upset thinking she is allowed to say these things about us. And about thinking I might never be a part of his "other family". Is it another family? Am I wrong? Do I get over it, let her say what she wants, let him leave when they're in town, and just not be a part of their lives? I know they are young. I also know it will be an easier adjustment while they are young. This is mommy. This is daddy. This is daddy's wife, and this is my little brother. Or, when they are older wondering why my son and I were never around. I am at a loss of what to do. I feel he still tries to control him, and he allows it. I need advice. I feel my marriage is depending on my husband and i coming to a conclusion we can both feel good about. I cannot and will not have him choose me over his daughters. It's hard enough not seeing them or even having the ability to freely go see them. I feel for my husband, however I cannot ignore my own feelings.


Michelle - posted on 08/31/2013




It's a bit hard to do anything since you are in separate countries. There isn't a lot you can do since you have no legal say with what happens to his other children. You married someone who had children from a previous relationship in another country, you do pretty much have to live with it. It's between your husband and his ex in regards to the other children.

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