desperate mum needs advice

Tameka - posted on 02/15/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )




my 2 eldest 6 1/2 yo boy and 5 1/2 yo girl have got out of control and i don't know what else to do.
when i discipline them my daughter just stares and ignores anything i say, she will never tell me why she did it and she lies about everything. she is very manipulative and any time i turn my back she is stealing. if she doesn't want to do something she will blatantly refuse saying no or i don't want to to the point of screaming at me. i struggle to get her to the car after school because she runs away if i make her hold my hand she will scream and drop to the ground or dig her feet in even as far as attempting to pinch bite or squeeze my arm to make me let her go.
i have taken her to a paediatrician they told me to put her on a special diet and behaviour therapy (the 123 magic program i have already tried) but it has not helped at all.
my son has a bad temper he finds difficult to control but it has always been non violent. he used to hurt himself to refrain from hurting others. but lately my daughter has been telling him that she will not play with him if he doesn't do what she wants to do so he goes along with it just he will have someone to play with. when they get in trouble he comes up with any excuse or argument he can think of to avoid consequences and often turns to sooking.
i have been trying to seek help for him since he was 18 months old and head butting cement and scratching his own face with frustration no doctor would look twice at him they said he was fine. i finally got a doctor to take me seriously when they school began voicing their concerns that they didn't know how to deal with him. i got the referral and took him to the paediatrician who diagnosed him with add and said he didn't know what to do with him either and requested the school do a full assessment of him. that assessment was supposed to have been done over 8 months ago and i am still waiting.
i keep trying but am at a loss what to do and this is the result in the past week they took knifes into the backyard and completely destroyed the old trampoline mat. they have urinated all over the carpet and beds while slowly trashing the bedrooms any time we discipline them and refuse to clean any of it and cut their hair for the 10th time and the scariest of all they tried to kill our dog by hanging him from the clothesline, with no remorse no empathy no emotion for what they had done aside from the smirk on their faces when i tried to talk to them of the severity of what they had done ( they intended to kill him and they to understand death). since this incident i asked them why they were smiling when they thought they had killed a poor defenceless dog ( as if that hadn't set off enough alarms) my son told me when he thinks of dead things he gets excited, he doesn't like those thoughts and tries to stop them, obviously i want to get them to a psychologist or something because im worried for them and that conversation scares the hell out of me !
they know right from wrong, i have tried everything from distractions to time out, counting to 3, giving them 2 options, taking things away, praising the good behaviour ignoring the bad and spanking when necessary etc nothing works. so while i am still waiting for professional help is there any advice you could give me? something that i haven't already tried of just some advice to control my stress i haven't slept in over 48 hours. i hope it makes sense and sorry its so long but i wanted to cover as much background as possible.


♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 02/15/2013




Keep consulting physicians until you find one who is knowledgeable enough to do the job. If your son was diagnosed, the physician should have come up with a treatment plan. Since he did not, you need to go to another with both of your children, and don't stop until you get an answer.

I cannot imagine your frustration!

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