Destructive and aggressive

Akande Love - posted on 11/20/2015 ( 2 moms have responded )




My daughter is six, in recent times she started displaying some worrying traits. For instance, she used knife to tear my curtain, razor blade to tear the shirt she was wearing, poured my cream away. Everyday I get one report or the other. She is a girl but yet I can buy her any fancy hair pack or dress with accessories, because she will take them out. I have tried out various punishment but it is not working. What can i do to stop this?


Dove - posted on 11/20/2015




Girls don't have to like dresses and fancy things. I'm a 39 year old woman and I HATE girly things. Just let her be herself on that.

As for the destructive behavior... lock up or keep out of reach all sharp and dangerous objects... and give her consequences for destroying things. If she destroys something that belongs to her... it is gone for good... do NOT replace it. If she destroys something that doesn't belong to her... take something special of hers away and keep it until she has worked off the cost of the item she destroyed. She should learn pretty quick that things cost money and paying for things requires a lot of hard work.

If you are really concerned about her behavior it might be worth asking her doctor for a referral to a good counselor. Not only do they work w/ kids, but they can work w/ you on suggestions of acceptable consequences and help you be accountable to sticking w/ them.


View replies by

Raye - posted on 11/20/2015




Well, first you should not have knives and razors where she can reach them. Second, you need to choose a punishment and stick to it. Every time she does something wrong there should be immediate consequences, and you should not back down. If you put her in time out, and she gets up before the allotted time, put her back in and the time starts over. You will have to do it again and again until she gets the message. She has to learn that it's not a game. It's not funny. She must act properly.

As far as the hair bows and dresses, some kids just don't like them. Don't force her to wear them if she doesn't want to. It doesn't mean anything if she doesn't like dresses. I never liked dresses and was always more of a tomboy. But I didn't turn gay or anything. Let her wear what she wants to wear.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms