Did I fail, my 3 year old has cavities

Lisamarie81m - posted on 05/22/2009 ( 12 moms have responded )




I just got back from the dentist for my 3 1/2 year old son. It was his first visit ever, he has cavities on his front upper teeth and I feel like I have failed. I cried right in front of the dentist. I just need some encouraging thoughts. I have never had a cavity in my life and so far his 5 1/2 year old brother has not either. I am heart broken :(


Jennifer - posted on 09/06/2011




HUGS I know the feeling my almost 5 year old just had to have caps put on all of his back teeth and even had one removed! I just wanted to sit and cry and the dentist assured me that no matter what I did, he still would have had problems as his teeth are simply not strong (family thing - my teeth are crap and I worked hard to prevent that in my son) and that unless I had been flossing his very back teeth since they came in (as all problems were between teeth) that there was nothing I could have done. didn't stop me from hating myself and thinking I did such a bad job as a mother. still feel that way at times. whats important is that you are getting things taken care of. my son started going to the dentist when he was 1 and still had problems...it is very true that some kids just have weak teeth. HUGSSSSSSSS

Jesse - posted on 05/22/2009




Girl- it's ok!! My son is two, I took him to the dentist about 2 months ago- and there was a little bit of decay, we just happened to catch it earlier! He doesn't have all of his teeth in yet, but the doctor told me not to go until he did. I didn't feel right with that, so I went instead. You're a good mother, don't fee bad. I have to hold my son down, while he screams and throws a fit, just to brush his teeth. Don't worry momma. :)

Heather - posted on 09/08/2011




You didnt fail, all kids that age dont brush well. My 4 year old had 1 cavity and the dentist told us to have her brush with some color of food coloring in her mouth to help her see what she needs to brush and where to brush. Just put 2 or 3 drops in their mouth have them swish and spit and look in the mirror to see. It helped us getting her to brush better.

[deleted account]

Well sometimes too much juice can do it, but I am a twin and to make the story short I have never had a cavity in my life and my sister's teeth were so bad she had to get dentures by the time she was 19! Same family, same parents, same situation... two totally different outcomes!

Alisha - posted on 05/22/2009




My 3 1/2 year old had two cavities on his two front teeth and I brushed them all the time and he eats right so no you didn't do anything wrong! I actually took my son to one dentist when he was 2 because I was worried about the spots on his teeth and I went to a real jackass dentist who told me he wouldn't fix them because he was to young and that it was caused from me when I was pregnant that I didn't get the right amount of nutrients! I was so upset, so I took him to a pediatric dentist who reassured me that no it was not my fault, which I knew deep down because I took better care of myself when I was pregnant then any other time! Also he fixed them and didn't even have to use Novocain . Goodluck and take a deep breath and know it's gonna be ok and it is so not your fault!

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Kelly - posted on 05/22/2009




I don't think you have failed. I would want to figure out if there is anything you can change though. Just try to consider, does the child drink soft drinks, or cool-aid type drinks, or sweetened tea? Drinks with lots of sugar are just so bad for kids, not just for their teeth, but their all-around health, and are a terrible habit to start. Of course the dentists say sticky candy should also be avoided. Opt for snacks like raisins or popcorn instead. This again, is better for their health anyway. And I personally still brush my 3-year old's teeth for her. With each of my kids, it was a very gradual thing when they started brushing their own. I would watch them, remind them to get to all areas of the mouth, time them, and let them do it once a day while I still did it the other time, until I knew they really had it down pat. My kids are 17, 15, 7 and 3, and have no cavities between them. However, I do believe that some people are just more prone to them, and you could be doing everything right and this still happen. Are they going to put sealants on your child's teeth? I think I would have that done as early as possible, if this is something they are prone to. Don't be discouraged, I only tell you all of this because it always makes me feel better to have a plan of action to fix a problem when it comes up. Hopefully you will be able to get control of this and it won't keep happening. Good luck!

Diane - posted on 05/22/2009




My daughter had 7 teeth out at the age of 5 this was just due to her having weak teeth i know it wasn't my fault the specialist actually blamed the dentist for not doing their job properly esp as she had been going since she was 6mths old. You are not to blame plus you have the added bonus of knowing it only his baby teeth and he will have a fresh new set very soon. :-)

Teresa - posted on 05/22/2009




no you have not failed.Yes I belive you never had any cavities whe you were grownig up.because things were total driffer back than.When we told people no soda or candy their would not give it to us behind mom or dad's back like their do today.Also there was not all tis soda and junk food that is the cause of cavities.Also we brushed our teeth when we were told to,without a fight.I know my grandaughter when she was three and came to live with me had no ideal of denit haibt's because mom and dad had never taugh her..so she had five cavities,beside that dad would alway buy her bags and bags of candy and loads of moutain dew to drink.Which bad for the teeth.But hon you are not like this .So you have h\nt fail.Its just the time'sGrandm Teri

[deleted account]

As any dentist will tell you, some kids are prone to bad teeth and some are not. Make sure he brushes and make sure he stays away from juice and sweets.

[deleted account]

of course you didn't fail!! actually my dentist told my mom that sometimes it doesn't matter if you scrub and brush constantly that some people just get cavities! some people don't ever get them or can aviod them by brushing well and stuff, but there are the unlucky few who are just going to get them.

Sara - posted on 05/22/2009




The only thing you could have done different is taken him to the dentist earlier. My dentist said children should be seen at one year or as soon as their first teeth have come in. But that doesn't mean anything. My kids have been going to the dentist since they were one and one of my 5 year old has 3 cavities and my 2 year old has some as well. When I was upset my dentist said that some people are just more prone to cavities. She said not to worry cause they were caught early. Now my two girls go in every 3 months for flouride treatments in addition to regular appointments.

Melody - posted on 05/22/2009




you did not fail as a mom it is very hard to get 3 year olds to brush. you might try getting him the tooth brush that sings while they brush, i hear kids love that and want to brush.

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