Disgusted by my teen daughters text messages

Mo Mo's Mom - posted on 09/03/2016 ( 7 moms have responded )




Daughter's phone was taken away decided to give it back to her thought giving her phone back was a good idea because with school starting , two jobs and work-study BUT before giving phone back to her I opened her phone up and read her text messages and was disgusted. Not only did I find her have sexual texts but also smoking pot drinking and using her prescription Vyvanse as a drug not only for her but her friend as well. She's got no idea that I have read her text messages I'm not giving her phone back to her yet I'm not sure how to handle this.


Dove - posted on 09/03/2016




Depends somewhat on how old she is. If she's not just in school, but also working two jobs AND being part of a work-study program... I'm thinking she's not a young teen...? No excuse for the behaviors, of course, but age might make a difference in how you approach it.

You definitely should address the drug issues in her texts. She should be aware already that text messages are not completely private and that you had the right to look through her phone if you were concerned about her behavior (that stipulation should have been set up upon receiving the phone in the first place), so it should come as no shock to her that you are aware of her behaviors that need to stop. A stipulation to having any privileges should be her submitting to drug testing and passing it.


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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 09/05/2016




While marijuana is not a gateway drug (I have been consuming for over 25 years), it is illegal in most areas, and in the states that have legalized, it is still illegal for consumption u see the age of 21. Not to mention, giving or selling your prescription meds is illegal!

It is a parent's job to curb that behaviour. Texts, phones, and computers need to be monitored. This is not an invasion of privacy, and if a kid has a problem with it, they do not need electronic devices.

Sarah - posted on 09/04/2016




Allison, I am sorry to say this but seriously? At 17, and mom paying for the phone? No way does she have the right to privacy! this child is putting herself in a very dangerous position! As a minor her parents must supervise her activity. Trust is earned! If this child want to act like an adult, she best
behave like one first!
I\d not give the phone back, I'd confront the behavior, I'd take her for a drug test and put her in rehab if needed.

Ev - posted on 09/04/2016




Allison--I do not think you understand that giving someone your prescription drugs is against the law and can cause health issues for another person since it is not meant for them. Smoking pot can lead to other drug uses and drinking under the age of 21 is illegal.

Allison - posted on 09/04/2016




I do believe everyone has the right to privacy including your daughter you should not be looking at her phone the texts are tiny issues that will resolve themselves don't turn it into something gigantic she and you will be fine your relationship is more important

Mo Mo's Mom - posted on 09/03/2016




Thank you for your advise. My daughter will b 17 in 3 weeks. She's in 12th grade.

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