Disrespect or just ignorance?

Vanessa - posted on 07/30/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )




I'm really hoping for some insight here. I have been married to a wonderful loving man for 8 years now.
He has 4 kids from a previous marriage....3 boys, ages 16,17,19, and a daughter, 21.
The past 2 summers, the boys have spent at our home, and apart from being messy and just plain being boys, it's not been too bad.
The daughter has lived with us for months at a time, and I must say that I'd take the 3 boys to one of her.
It didn't start out that way..... But over the years she has displayed covert disrespect and general disregard for me and my things. She is a young adult, who works, yet has no problem using my stuff (eg: toiletries). In a few weeks, she'll be moving to another city for college, so she's been buying things to outfit her apartment. She bought a set of curtains, and took mine down (which would have been fine, since it is her bedroom). Instead of folding my curtains, and putting them in the spare room closet, she just balled them up and pushed them into a shelf. I paid a lot of money for those curtains, and get lack of regard really hurt me. I'm sure she wouldn't like it if I did that to her curtains.
I have always been really good to her, but I really find it difficult to handle such blatant disregard.
My husband acknowledges her behavior, but thinks I'm reading too much into things.
I am very non-confrontational, besides, I think it's his place to address it.
Any insight or advice sure would be appreciated.
Thank you! :-)


Jodi - posted on 07/31/2013




I would suggest 'thoughtless' is the word. It doesn't sound like she is doing it deliberately, and young adults have a tendency to be thoughtless abotu their choices at times. I recognise that you are non-confrontation, but actually, I agree with your husband, I think you need to address this yourself. It doesn't need to be a major confrontation, just something as simple as "I notice you've been using my toiletries, do you need some help with getting more of your own?" Or "I love your new curtains, however, next time, could you please just fold the other ones and pop them in the closet for me? That would be great!" There is nothing confrontational about that.

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