Do you over praise?


Denikka - posted on 09/22/2011




I think it's a fine line. There are certain things in the article that I do, and I think it's important to do.
3. Stealing a child’s pleasure.
For example (I don't want to post the whole thing).
I usually wait until my son says something or expresses his pleasure at doing something before I say something like *good job*
Example: He puts on his shoes and jacket by himself (he's 2.5yrs). He'll come to me with a big grin and say *look mom. I did it!* and I will usually respond with *yes you did! You did a really good job/That's awesome*
Doing something well should be it's own reward, especially as a child gets older. When he's 13 and goes and cleans his room (hey, a mom can dream right XD), I probably won't make a big deal out of it. If he asks for praise (*Hey mom, look how good I cleaned my room!*) I'll give it, but I probably won't go out of my way to FIND things to praise all the time.

I do think that a lot of people over praise. I think that it also ties in to the whole thing about kids fragile egos and how we *can't let kids lose cause it could hurt their self esteem*.
I think that's a load of crock. I think support is important. I do agree with the article when it says that a lot of the time, praise seems to be conditional. You praise when a child does something RIGHT.
I think it's much more important to support your child, rather than praise them, so in that, I definitely agree with the article. I just think the article may put it across in the wrong way.

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 09/22/2011




She makes good points, but each kid is different, I use a lot of praise with my son, and it works with him.

what I got out of this was...if you praise them too much it loses the value…and I don’t always think that is the case.

I always give him praise when he does something that I didn’t need to remind him of or didn’t need to tell him to do..and it can be the same thing over and over. Like burshing his teeth, combing his hair, and getting his breakfast..those are just to name a few.

So if I over praise by her standards…then I just do, but its working for my son and has been, if it did not then I would heed her words…word for word

Kellie - posted on 09/22/2011




I think we're going to far with what we can't do with our children. FFS maybe it would be quicker to list what we CAN do with them.


View replies by

Michelle - posted on 07/06/2012




I feel it is very important to let your child know why you praise them and how they accomplished the praise and encourage them. I have a friend who always praised and basked in their childrens wonderfulness and now they are self centred, rude people, with huge oppinions about everything and everybody and they think they have no problems. I have yet to hear a positive word come out of their mouths. I think that it is a good balance to set your children straight once in a while and bring them down to earth with rest of us peasants. Over- oppinionated people to me is nothing more than a tactic of bullying others beliefs. I think you just set your child up for a false reality of life if you go wrong with the self esteem issue to o much too little. I say just be fair and honest with your kids goes a long way.

September - posted on 09/23/2011




It is true that praise works but the more important questions is, is it damaging to our children. I use to praise our son all the time. Anytime he did something correctly I would always say good job sweetie! Lately I've been pointing out what he did that makes me proud and I've noticed a difference in his reaction. Pretty interesting stuff! :)

Stifler's - posted on 09/22/2011




I probably do. Anytime Logan does something I say I'm like GOOD BOY to try and encourage him to do good things instead of trash the house.

September - posted on 09/22/2011




Well is this case what she should have done was point out things about the picture. For example..."I see you used a lot of green today. Or "wow that's a big house'. Not just say mhmm. That must have really hurt his feelings :( I actually agree with this article personally.

Amy - posted on 09/22/2011




I personally think it is overboard. Our children do naturally/usually want to please us wether we praise or not. I look at it like this...positive reinforcment is much better than negative! Also I have seen a young child in my son's school who was very excited to show his mother his project & she believed this "praise can ruin" and she just glanced at the project & said "mhmm" & his little face fell like a ton of bricks. This was not a child who was used to praise because she has raised him without praise & let me tell you he tries so hard to get that praise & acknowlegment. Just my thoughts :)

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms