Do you trust family with your kids before friends?

[deleted account] ( 23 moms have responded )

I need a general idea of what most moms think. My in laws believe that I should trust ANY family with my kids before friends just because they are family. I don't believe that since I don't trust all of his family and I don't trust all of my family either. So yes or you trust your family to take your kids just because they are family?


JuLeah - posted on 08/10/2010




I don't know your family. There are members of mine I don't want in the same state as my child.

Trust your family, just cause they are family? That's kind of dumb

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Renee - posted on 08/13/2010




Absolutely not! Family, friends, total stranger at a daycare...doesn't make a difference who they are. What matters is their maturity, responsibility, and experience with kids. If family made you automatically good with kids, we wouldn't have so many dead beat dads out there after all!

TRACY - posted on 08/13/2010




I am a mother of a 24 year old and I have been through this already!!No one is ever going to parent the exact same way as you do, doesn't mean it's wrong it's just different unless it is endangering a child ,then they should be reported. You know your family and friends the best so if your not comfortable with them taking care of your child, then you don't send them. What gets me is when people say they don't want someone taking care of their child, but ,only when they are in a excuse, if that person isn't good enough for you when your not in a bind then they shouldn't be good enough when you are!! They are still taking care of your child and this only means you are using them for your own benefit,not in your childs best interest. Take the high road and stay at home and miss out on the event if it means your child will be safe!! Unfortuneatly there are people who are not suitable to be taking care of children, even people we know and love!! That is why we are given GUT INSTINCT!! If your just making a "NO" decision because your in-laws, or your parents don't follow your rules to the exact point, pick your battles accordingly, rules are meant to be bent ,we have all bent rules at one time or another... even with our kids ,that is a grandparents perogative!!! Spoil them and then send them home to us!!! Is it frustrating sometimes,hell yes!!! But you will do it too when you become grandparents!!!

Melissa - posted on 08/13/2010




Most definately not. We have Mother's intuition for a reason. Go with your gut. I trust my friends with children the age of mine over family members who have no experience with children.

LadyEugenia - posted on 08/13/2010




NO.....I agree with you. I do not and will not let certain family members of my family nor my husband family. To be exact....there's only a couple of my family members that I will trust with my children....and same goes for my husband family. You have the right to decide who and where you would allow your children with. I have a very small amount of family and friends that I will trust with my kids. As a parent, you are responsible for protecting your children.

Kimberly - posted on 08/13/2010




Trust your instincts. Your inlaws can say whatever they want but in the end, it's your child.
I have a few people I trust (both family and friends) to watch my kids if I have something to do. Are you talking about them taking them for a couple hours because you need a sitter?

Amy - posted on 08/13/2010




You dont have to leeave your child with anyone you dont feel 100% comfortable with. I dont leave me son with hardly anyone family or not! Dont let them make you feel bad all it is is because they WANT to have the baby, they are jealous you dont let them have the child!

Renae - posted on 08/12/2010




A big fat NO!

It depends on the person, whether they are related to me has NOTHING to do with it.

When my baby was little (under a year) I did not leave him with MIL - for reasons that will take too long to tell them all - lets just say she is full of wrong information like that its ok for a baby to have a temperature a few degrees higher than an adult!! I left him only with my mother and that was very rare.

He is now 17mos and he stays once a week with one of two friends (I have their baby one week and they have mine the alternate week, and I do that with two of my friends) and one day a week with my mother. I would now leave him with MIL as he is a bit older but she works.

I cant see what being blood related to a person has to do with trusting them with your child. I know my 2 friends who have my child far better than I know some of my family.

Kimmy - posted on 08/12/2010




No I have some family members that I don't even want to be around let alone leave my child alone with them.

[deleted account]

no. i don't trust my parents at all. they are kind of big and have health problems which make them slow and also kind of lazy, so they don't stop him from doing things and they don't watch him close enough. my brother found my son chewing on a needle cap while my parents were watching him, thus ending their babysitting ever. I have friends, though not many, that I would trust with him. If a person can't keep my son safe then I don't care if they are family, they aren't watching him

Nicola - posted on 08/12/2010




I trust my parent. inlaws and my sister and her husband. my brother in law who was childess at the time took Tomas my eldest out for the day. both my husband and i were panicing after about 4hrs, but he was returned safe and well, we did not think that my brother in law would abuse Tomas, just drop him. i would not trust anyone else in my family as they do not know Tomas enough, but close friends i trust without a blink.

[deleted account]

Absolutely not. Just because they are family doesn't mean they are responsible enough to take care of a child. I have one friend who I would trust with my son more than I would trust a lot of my family. It's just how it is. Besides that, some friends are basically family. It's up to you who you want your child to go to, bottom line. Family or friend it doesn't really matter so yeah, I think you're doing the right thing.

[deleted account]

lol Sorry Christina. Other than my father my in laws are the only ones that lives close as well. sucks doesn't it?

Christina - posted on 08/10/2010




Ummmm... I trust my parents (not my sister) and some of my friends before I would let my ILs watch my kid. Unfortunately, the ILs are the ones that live the closest. :-/

Abbie - posted on 08/10/2010




Well that is a complicated question..... I would trust all of my family that they would NOT put my child in harms way, would they do everything that I do- no not all of them. My husbands family I would trust 1 sibling very much the other NO WAY IN HELL!! Also I have a friend who is pretty good with kids, but not mine. They clash & she parents completely different then I do, so I only ask her if I really really need our son to be watched for a few hours.

In this sort of thing you need to go with your gut, because even family can do things wrong or be harmful.

[deleted account]

oh thank you one and all. I really thought there was something wrong with me and that my parents had done something drastically wrong while I was growing up! lol My husband and his family think that as long as it is family then you should trust your kids with the no matter if they are one or six. I just CANT do that! I just have a gut feeling that his mother doesn't care for my kids like she should and she is the one that wants to take my 3 youngest overnight. umm...yeah. She gave my 10 month old 3 bottles all right in a row and 2 of them were regular cows milk. She spanked my 2 year old that was potty training so hard she had a hand print on her bottom when she came home. (she lives 30 min. away) I am scared to death to send all three little ones with her. She has one dog that is so big it can and has knocked over my 2 little ones. She also has 2 cats. One of which scratched my oldest daughter about 5 years ago. She will come to see the kids then sit and talk to me for 20 minutes. After talking to me for 20 minutes she gives each of the kids a new toy and leaves. she does mean well but I JUST DON'T trust her! ACK!!!!

Zoe - posted on 08/10/2010




i would never leave my child with any of my family, but i would let some of my friends take her on holiday. Depends on how you feel about your family.

Rachel - posted on 08/10/2010




Definitely not. I love my family so in my case I would trust them to take care of my kids but I also have wonderful friends who I would trust just as much. But just because they are family doesn't mean they are fit to watch your children....what if they are abusive or an alcoholic or just not very dependable or lazy??

Janice - posted on 08/10/2010




I say listen to your inner voice. Some people are better with children than other people. It is our job as parents to keep our children safe. Family is a great way to get wonderful care from people who love your kids.

[deleted account]

Friends you get to pick and know most things about, family you dont choose.

Grandparents, my sister and my husbands sister, i trust to leave my kids with. They know our children, they know what they like and dis-like, they know our routine, and i've seen the way they interact togther, and nothing has raised red flags.

if you asked me to leave my kids with my aunty or uncle or my best friend. i would have to choose my friend, as i know more about them and they have spent more time with my kids and they have young kids too, where as my uncles and aunts dont have young family.

Thats just my way of thinking. Hope that helped you

Michelle - posted on 08/10/2010




I trust some of my family members to watch my daughter. We have actually never left our daughter with anyone other then family member's. But that's because we don't know any sitters in the area that are old enough to take on a 20 month old.

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