don't know if I did the right thing

Monica - posted on 08/07/2016 ( 1 mom has responded )




My child was adopted at birth. The birth parents didn't want the child to know until the age of 21, and it would be the childs decsion to have contact with them or not. We raised this child to know that all kids need a home and read books on the subject, however we signed that we wouldn't tell the child until 21. and our child didn't know. now that our child is of age. we got a call asking us not to say anything yet for the birth mother is unstable at this time. I feel that we waited long enough, but also afraid of loosing our child in a diffult age to begin with. what are your thoughts


Jodi - posted on 08/07/2016




Personally, I think we should always raise our children with the truth. They don't need to know WHO their birth parents are, but knowing that they were adopted is important. Your daughter had a right to know a long time ago that she was adopted.

My mum's cousins were all adopted children - not one of them has ever sought out their parents. They've known they were adopted as long as they remember. As far as they are concerned, they were specially chosen by their adoptive parents to be their children, their birth parents didn't want them, so why would they bother trying to form a relationship with them? But the difference is, they've known all their lives, and they've been able to have a healthy way to reconcile their situation. Your daughter was never given that opportunity, so you need to expect that there may be some repercussions from having concealed it from her all her life.

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