Nina - posted on 07/05/2015 ( 16 moms have responded )
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My 18 year old daughter is going on vacation with my ex and his girlfriend. I can't stand thought since I was promised so many vacation 's that never happened. Can't stand the thought of them spending time together.
Nina - posted on 07/05/2015
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In the family home and will be at least till the first of the year. He said he moved there to be close to our daughter and while separated drove me to the spot where he said was going to build himself a home. I would later find out it was her house being built. So yea. It's hard for me to get over. Plus he met her at her workplace which happens to be behindsmy place of business.
Nina - posted on 07/05/2015
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It's been 2 years this last May.bad part is he now lives across the street and the girlfriend lives behind him. So all in my face. I'm better than I was but still raw.
Nina - posted on 07/05/2015
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I know I am trying. Thanks for your thoughts.
Jodi - posted on 07/05/2015
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It doesn't matter what has caused the anger, you need to move on and not dwell on it, as this will affect your daughter. Find away to take yourself on a vacation!!!
Nina - posted on 07/05/2015
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The anger is based on all the promises he made me and now he's doing them with someone else he cheated on me with.
Jodi - posted on 07/05/2015
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It sounds to me like you are still angry at him and haven't moved on. You need to learn to take a step back and recognise that the relationship each of you has with your daughter is equally as important, but it's okay that your relationship is different. Don't be upset over it. Be happy that your daughter has such a good relationship with both of you.
Christina - posted on 07/05/2015
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Try to be patient with yourself. It's not easy to get over what he did. It will take time. Keep on taking care of yourself. {{hugs}}
Nina - posted on 07/05/2015
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I have done all these things and it is better than it used to be. I'm just one of those people that just don't get over it so easily. But your message has helped me today. Thank you.
Christina - posted on 07/05/2015
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You guys must be very close but you know one day she will leave. It's hard to focus on you but take baby steps - go for a drive somewhere you wanted to visit, go see a new movie or play. Plan a garden, make yourself a fancy meal, get a mani/pedi or new hair hairstyle/color. Walk the mall or a nearby track with your favorite music. Get a puppy or rescue dog. Eventually, the pain will subside; meanwhile cheaters never win - you don't have to lift a finger.
Nina - posted on 07/05/2015
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Thank you. I know she can't take sides. Just so unfair. I will try something new while she's gone. She lives with me so it's difficult being alone.
Christina - posted on 07/05/2015
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I am sure the situation is very painful. But in my experience, karma usually works its magic. You can't expect your daughter to take sides. That's her father. Focus on doing something fun for you while she's gone.
Nina - posted on 07/05/2015
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It's my ex husband. His girlfriend is who he cheated on me with. My daughter doesn't seem to care he's moved on but doesn't want me to do I'm here for her. Why the double standard is what I don't get. He bribes her with money. I have only love to give her.
Christina - posted on 07/05/2015
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I would try to focus on the positive - your daughter has a good relationship with your ex. Is this your ex-husband ? When my son went to visit his father and new wife, I was glad that he had more people in his life to love him (but I was also over my ex-husband). Do something nice for yourself while she is gone. Treat yourself to something or go hang out with friends you haven't seen in a while. Sometimes we get so stuck being moms that when our kid is gone, we don't know what to do with ourselves.
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MOST HELPFUL POSTS
Christina - posted on 07/05/2015
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Oh my goodness ! They have some balls for sure ! How hateful ! Is there any way you can move ? That was cruel for sure.
Dove - posted on 07/05/2015
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The anger is certainly understandable, but all you can do it let it go and move on. Was your break up fairly recent? It took me a good couple of years to be able to let go of the anger, but now I look back on it and my ex leaving me for the other woman was actually the BEST thing that could have happened to me. It hurt and it sucked at the time, but now that I have healed I am SOOOO much better off emotionally. You will get there. Be patient w/ yourself.