father decides to come back and I am feeling confused, helpless and unable to protect my daughter

Jill - posted on 03/30/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )




4 years ago my daughters father and I split up. We were both deep in a drug addiction. We split up because I went to treatment and he didn't want to. For one year my daughter went to live with her Grandparents while I finished treatment. I integrated my self back into her life slowly over 6 months. We have lived together for the last 3 years. 2 years ago her father decided he wanted to see her again. We've been going through court for two years. Last May he was granted supervised visitation when he was released from prison. Upon his release he skipped town because he had another warrant and never saw her. She couldnt understand why he didnt want to see her. He went back to jail 3 months later and decided he wanted to see her again. So we went back to court and they over looked his skipping town and decided to give him another chance and didnt listen to my concerns. Now they gave him supervised visitation again and I pray the he does the right thing. If it were up to me he'd never get near her. She doesnt remember him and I wish it would stay that way, but the court says he has a right to have a relationship with her. I dont understand. Why would they let his actions just go? I am feeling confused, helpless and unable to protect my daughter. I know what is going to happen here, but I wish i knew if he was going to stick around, be responsible and stable. I have never asked for child support because I figured he would leave us alone if I didnt, but now maybe I should. Any comfort, support, or advice is appreciated. thank you


Jodi - posted on 03/30/2014




You got another chance. So why can't he? You need to make sure you don't speak negatively about him either to or in the presence of your daughter, and maintain a positive attitude towards the arrangement. It is supervised visitation, so your daughter will be fine. No, she doesn't know him, but how is he going to get to know her if he doesn't start somewhere? You integrated back into her life slowly, well this is the way he is integrating back into her life slowly. The court is right, just as you have made your mistakes and managed to come back into her life again, so has he made his mistakes. It might be ok. It might not be. No-one can assure you either way.

With regard to support, he should be paying that regardless.

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