Father does not pay child support, what should i do?

Natasha - posted on 11/11/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )




My Ex and I have been separated for over 4 yrs now, we had 2 daughters who are now 6 and 8yrs old. We have a court agreement that he gets the children for a week during Christmas break (We share Christmases, he gets them for Christmas day one year and i get them the next year)and he Also gets to have them for the whole summer. He lives pretty far so the agreement was that we drive halfway to a meeting point to drop off the kids. We have been doing this for a long time now but with every year i feel like he's neglecting his kids. After we separated he got remarried with a woman who had a child and they had a child together.Now when my kids went to see him he did not keep them with him, they would stay with their grand-ma who lived 2hrs away from him and he would see them only on weekends. He would maybe sometimes take a week off work to have them with him for that week (I would like to mention that during that time his wife didnt work and was at home, the kids still had to go to their grand-mas)so technically the kids stayed at their grand-mas the whole summer with him living 2hrs away. Now for the past 1yr and a half hes been living in his hometown close to his parents. When the kids went there this summer i found out that he separates them, one stays with him and the other with grand-ma and then they switch after a couple of days. When i have them with me he calls maybe once a month sometimes not even that.

Ive been in a serious relationship with a man for about 3yrs now and he loves my kids as if they were his (he has no children) he helps support them and raises them with me. My ex tells my kids that they are not aloud to call him their step-dad (even though hes done more for them than the actual father)

Now i've been in College for the last couple of months and my partner has been paying most of everything at home since im on school loans. The father has not been paying any child support for a long time (0ver 5k behind) and he wont even help out to pay for school supplies or even winter boots for the kids, my partner pays for pretty much everything that the kids need.

So my question is Do i still have to bring them to him at our halfway meeting point? Im tired of always doing everything and him doing nothing. It costs a lot of money for gas and i dont have the money to bring them. I dont want to have to ask my partner to pay for gas i feel like he does enough and the father not nearly enough. I feel like if the father really wants to see his kids he can come and pick them up at my door and bring them back, its the least he can do since he doesn't pay his child support which i might add is not a lot (300$ a month for 2 kids)

Thanks in advance


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Ashley - posted on 11/11/2012




child support and visitation are not the same. dont keep them from there father just because he is not paying. that will only punish and hurt the kids and it is not there fault. talk to him about doing all the transportation for visits. but dont keep them from him or there grandparents.

Lacye - posted on 11/11/2012




Yes you would still have to bring them half way. A judge does not consider child support and visitation as the same. One has no effect on the other.

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