Feel like i'm really losing it as a mother...

Marie - posted on 09/26/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )




It's taken me quite a while to come round to realising that I have a problem and to talk about this sort of thing on an Internet site, I just really need to let some of these feelings out to other mothers as I am becoming afraid of my aggression and feel I am failing as a mother, I even cry as I write this as I don't want to be like this. Please don't be too judgemental with any responses.

I am a mother of 2 little girls, my first was a fairly easy baby, had her spats like most children, but nothing I couldn't deal with. She is now 3, and a loving, affectionate child, how loves to play, cuddle and help and generally does as she is told.

I have recently had another baby who is now 7 months old and she is in a word an awful baby...I feel so bad for saying it like this, but I feel like I can't cope with her, she screams, crys and yells so loudly all of the time, she is a very needy, demanding baby and she actually makes me feel crazy and there is nothing I can do for her which makes her happy - I give her everything she needs plus more and its never enough, I don't know what i'm doing wrong to make her want to act like this, its not like I am an unexperienced mother, the screams really get to me as they are so shrill and high-pitched.

I can't do anything without her needing me there all the time...housework, going to the toilet or even getting ready (I look the worst I have in a while as she gives me no time to get ready).

I have in the past suffered with bad OCD, it was getting better, but since having her all the rituals have got worse, which makes me feel worse. I'm afraid of my own temper now as i'm finding it hard to cope and end up shouting at my baby and taking it out on my older daughter as she can understand me, I feel so awful after doing this, wondering if i'm going to end up hitting them one day as it comes close it it...and then I cry.

I have a partner who is at work all day and I have spoken to him about all this but he doesn't undrestand and says that she's just a baby and the stage will pass, I'm sure it will but at the moment I just need some advice on coping tips, does anyone else have needy children like this? Does anyone feel like this? I feel alone with this as everyone always seems so happy as a mother while I'm finding it hard.


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Gwen - posted on 09/26/2012




You might also talk to your own doctor about an antidepressant or anxiety medication for yourself. You also need to REQUIRE your partner to step in and take over after work so that you can LEAVE THE HOUSE each day and have an hour or so to decompress. Just going for a cup of coffee, a walk, praying, meditating..you need some time alone and uninterrupted. I am a single mom and, while my baby never had this issue, I have had (and still do) times when I feel like I'm going nuts! I lose my temper and yell at my daughter, then feel like a total jerk for taking my frustration out on her. You are not alone.

Juliannemarie - posted on 09/26/2012




I have 2 girls that are the same distance apart as yours. My 5 month old screamed for 6 hours a day, every day. She couldn't be laid down even for a minute. She has acid reflux and I got Boiron COCYNTAL for it. Cleared her right up. Now whenever she starts to get fussy I give her some and she stops.

Michelle - posted on 09/26/2012




Have you had the baby checked for silent reflux or colic? The way describe her scream sounds like she could be in pain. I would talk to your doctor and see if you can try and get a solution.

My first was a very unsettled baby but he never screamed, he just cried for hours on end. By 7 months he has settled down though.

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