Feel like our marriage is falling apart.

Amber - posted on 02/05/2015 ( 2 moms have responded )




I recently became a stay at home mom in December. I left my job of 3 and a half years after I got a concussion from unloading the truck and my work started to treat me like crap. But in the past few months I feel like my husband is just using me as his maid. He has not lifted a finger once to help around the house. He was gone for 3 weeks for work and ever since he has been back I feel like our marriage is falling apart (he treats me so differently). For example, last night I stayed over at my mother in laws house (she lives 30 mins away and it was pouring rain). My husband works nights and well once he got home our puppy had pooped all over the floor, he calls me up and starts yelling at me saying I should have been at home. then he calls back complaining that he cant find the remote to the control and that all i do is watch t.v so I should know where its at. I asked him "do you have anything else to yell at me about" his response was I am sure I can find something else but its not worth it. I hung the phone up on him and told him once you learn to treat me with respect and not as a door mat then you can talk to me and he has treated me different ever since. won't really even make eye contact or talk to me. I dont know what to do and don't have anybody to talk to for advice


View replies by

Trisha - posted on 02/06/2015




Good for you for sticking up for yourself! That is EXACTLY how I react when my husband starts to get abusive.
He might feel ashamed for the way he was treating you, or he could just be angry with you and giving you the silent treatment.
Counselling is in order for sure though. This will become a safe place for you to talk, and have a mediator. It has done wonders for my relationship. You can only fix it though if both of you want to fix it. This probably has a lot to do with his unhappiness right now as well. Perhaps stress from the loss income etc. You need to communicate in order to better your relationship at this state.
Catch him when he is in a calm mood, and let him know that you noticed that he is unhappy, and you are unhappy and think that you should get counselling (do some research ahead of time - regarding cost, availability of counselors and how your insurance will cover it so to not cause extra stress).
I hope you can get him to come around and want to fight for the relationship. Whatever you do though, don't allow him to walk all over you as it it will just keep getting worse. Don't yell back at him, don't be sarcastic, just do as you did. Tell him that until he starts communicating without yelling, or being rude that you have no interest in talking to him.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms